Happy Birthday, Katie!

I can't believe my little girl is one already! She has brought so much joy (and sass!) to our family. We love her to death. She's really grown up over the past year.

Birthday happenings: preschool, devouring a big chocolate cake.

Presents: two pretty dresses and a stuffed owl (Grandma Head), 2 pairs of PJ's and lots of candy (Grandma Phenix), a couple of new shirts (Grandma Lee's $).

Katie isn't close to walking yet (no surprise there!) but pulls herself to standing. She uses a sippy cup and has strong opinions about everything. She lets us know by shrieking when she wants something. (My eardrums!) I'm working on getting her down to one nap. She fell asleep on the floor in my room about 20 minutes before naptime, so I think we're getting there. It will be nice to have her and Kenny asleep at the same time.

Mama's girl loves chocolate cake!

Fall Break

James's fall break technically started Thursday, but he took Wednesday off so we could get to SLC earlier. We stayed with his parents at the Kimball, a really cool hotel where they always stay when they're in SLC. We always have a room with a kitchen, which is awesome! This time, we even had a laundry room. Since we've stayed at the Kimball several times now, it almost feels like a home away from home. I like being being able to cook a real meals instead of having to rely on cold cereal or fast food for every meal.

James's dad needed an assistant for each day we stayed in SLC (Wed.-Sat.), so I helped Wed. and Fri. and James did Thurs. and Sat. It is a pretty relaxing job. I had a pretty horrible day getting ready for the trip (like not finishing prep until 9 p.m., which is a lot later than normal!), so it was awesome to sit and read for a good chunk of the day. I never read anymore because I always have something to do, and I've been working on too many big projects that I can't just leave gathering dust, so I put off reading. I really shouldn't, because it relaxes me.

Wed., everyone went to the museum while I was working. James and I took a little walk through City Creek and got some ice cream. It was a gorgeous day! The kids all had fun in the hot tub after dinner, and they went to bed without a fuss. James and I watched a little TV before crashing.

Thurs., we had a fun day with Grandma. We went the Witchfest and visited a few stores (Kid to Kid, a toy store). I got some adorable ties for the boys for Christmas for 2 bucks each, and Katie got a few early birthday presents from Grandma: two pretty dresses and a fluffy, stuffed owl. Katie adores fluffy and sparkly things. Is she a girl, or what?

Friday, I worked again while James and everyone went to the This is the Place park. I've never been, but they got some pictures! I made dinner for everyone when we got back to the hotel and we hung out and played Boggle. I lost, as always.

James worked Saturday while I went to visit Cindy! I had a great time catching up and seeing her little girl again.

We drove back to Vernal that afternoon and made it in time for Stake Conference. I went to the adult session, and we all went on Sunday. We camped out in the Primary room and let the kids play while we listened. James even got Katie to take a nap! That hasn't happened at Church in ages.

This week has been pretty normal so far. My garden is officially dead, so I harvested all the tomatoes and put all the dead plants in the compost pile. I have about 20 lbs. of tomatoes, but I think 2/3 of them should ripen inside. The others are immature, so I plan on trying a green tomato relish. Once the rest ripen, I should get another few quarts of salsa, which will mean we pretty much have a year supply of tomato products. Yeah! That was my goal in planting 10 plants.

Weaning Katie is going all right. We're down to one feeding a day. She likes her sippy cup and seems to be adjusting really well. I still have mixed feelings about it, but I think it's a lot harder for me to let go than for her. It was that way with my other kids too.

Now, pictures.

Witchfest

just being Kenny

Her hair is always messy!

Silly boys at This is the Place.

Doubt

My goal to "get something" from every chapter in all the scriptures is going pretty well. I used to pay less attention to the lessons in the Old Testament because it seemed that there wasn't as much to find. Though there is more stuff to wade through, there are some beautiful lessons to be found - great treasures, if you're willing to look.

The book of Job is such an example. The other times I read it, it was just the story of a guy who complained a lot and had bad friends. This time, not so much. It struck me in a very different way because of the state of the world. I never knew anyone who'd flat out left the Church until very recently. Gone inactive, yes, but not actual apostasy. This has shaken me up a bit and made me think a little deeper about how and why I believe what I do.

Job is not only a book about trials and suffering. It's a book about doubt and all the lies that the world tells us over and over again that almost seem true, logically, but are really twisted perceptions of the real truth. Job's friends, in an attempt to "comfort" him, present a few truths and many lies to try to get Job down on himself when he's done nothing wrong.

Job's friends don't succeed in cheering him up (very much), and in response, he gives his testimony, correcting their mistakes along the way. They don't believe him and keep on trying to persuade him to repent of things he hasn't done.

False                                                                   True

Man is nothing.	Man is nothing, but he is everything to God.
God will only be with us when we’re perfect.	God is with us always.
Trials do not happen to the righteous.	Trials happen to everyone.
Trials only happen when God wants to punish us.	Trials are a refining fire. They make us better people.
We deserve the trials we get.	God does not enjoy watching his children suffer, but it is a necessary part of the plan. We don't necessarily "deserve" them, but we need them.
Trials only happen when we sin.	God will correct us when necessary, but not necessarily through trials. Some trials are caused by sin, but many happen due to the agency of others and a fallen world.
God enjoys exacting vengeance on those who are wicked.	God is just, merciful, and loving. He does not get pleasure from seeing suffering, no matter the cause.
Wickedness always leads to pain, and the wicked never prosper.	Sometimes the wicked prosper, and not all wickedness is punished right away.
Wickedness is always struck down.	Wickedness will receive judgment in due time.

What does this have to do with doubt?

Job has a conversation with God at the very end of the book, and it turns out that he really doesn't understand everything about how God works. If he being such a great man doesn't understand the greatness of God, then how can I?

A person who observes the world from the natural man's eyes only sees the left column. It's what Satan would have us believe, and it's dangerous. To believe in such an uncaring, angry God makes religion seem pointless. It also doesn't consider agency, because a world where punishment instantly follows sin, who would ever do it? Why bother doing any good if it won't necessarily be rewarded? Why deny the natural man if it's so thrilling to give in? And in world of instant gratification, why wait for the blessings in the next life when you can't be so sure that it really exists? To the secular world, faith is a building on a foundation made of Jell-o. On paper, it doesn't stand up to "science" and never will. 

So many small moments throughout my life have defied logic and helped me know that God is real. I first read the Book of Mormon when I was 7. A seven-year-old is too young to be caught up in whether faith or science is more important. I still remember the feeling I got from reading the Book of Mormon, and I wasn't even old enough to understand every word. Since then, the doctrines of God  have distilled upon my soul like the dews from heaven. I can't explain how that works, but I don't need to. I am a firm believer in science too, but that doesn't discount faith in any way. I resent the random comments around the Internet I've read that suggest that faith can only be a legitimate channel for learning if the person is ignorant in worldly knowledge, and vice versa. I'm a woman of faith, and I'm also not an idiot, thank you very much, you Internet trolls.

I don't doubt science even though I can't possibly understand everything about it. If I want to know more, then I learn it. The same goes for spiritual things. I certainly don't understand everything about God, but I'm getting there one step at a time.

40 lbs.

I bought a giant box of apples from Bountiful Baskets because they were a steal! (24 bucks!) There is no orchard anywhere near here, so 62 cents a pound is the best deal I've got. When I received the box, I felt that I'd been a little too ambitious. However, those apples are all but gone now. I got a lot of yummy stuff from them.

9 pints of apple butter
15 trays of dried slices
10 c. chopped and frozen for later use
5 c. apple sauce (mostly eaten by the kids)
4 apple pies, which I delivered to my visiting teaching sisters

I don't want to look at apples for a while now! :)

It's been a little crazy since salsa season and apple season ran together. My garden is finally producing a ton of tomatoes (go figure) now that it's October. Utah, your crazy growing season is going to drive me nuts for a few years. Thankfully, the frost we had a few weeks ago did not kill my tomato plants. All the rain is mind-boggling, though. It's like a NC winter.

Speaking of 40 lbs., at this time last year, I was very pregnant with Katie and weighed 40 lbs. more than I do now (at my due date, which was Oct. 20th of last year.)  Time sure flies! I've been contemplating weaning Katie, but she is terrible at using both bottle and cup, so I haven't really tried yet. I'd love to lose the last 5-10 lbs. and be able to find my bra size. She doesn't do well with dairy either. It seems to stop her up a lot more than it did to the boys, even if she just has a little cheese. I can't just give her water, because she's a growing girl. I'm not anticipating another baby any time soon, so I don't feel like I'm in a big rush to quit. She's going to be my "baby" for a while yet. I never thought I would nurse past a year for any of my kids, but I feel like I should keep going this time. After almost 3 years, what's another few months?

And on a completely unrelated note, my ward just split and my closest Vernalite friend moved away. I lost my VT companion and 2 of my 3 ladies to the new ward. I'm really bummed about that, so I've been dealing with it all by working myself hard and trying to stay busy. I know that friends always move away, but it's still depressing when it happens. I'm grateful that there are numerous ways to stay in touch, but I'm not very good at them. I guess that will be my goal - once again - to stay connected with those I care about.

Old-Fashioned

A recent episode of Downton Abbey got me thinking, and not in happy way. Yes, I gave in to temptation and watched Season 5 Ep. 1. Someone put the link right in front of my face, pretty much, so I clicked and watched it.

The episode left me with a bad feeling about the world we live in. Though D.A. has never been known for its virtuousness, morality was at least looked on with the same kind of standards I hold. Early seasons made it quite clear that fornication is wrong and something to regret. Same for adultery and homosexuality. However, things are starting to change. Fornication is perhaps not so bad. No one really calls it that anymore in our day, perhaps because it sounds so ugly - which it is. Our society sugarcoats things to make them sound better or justifies sin by making it legal. It's only 1924 in the most recent season of D.A., but those attitudes are already creeping in. I hate it. Some things did need to change because they weren't right: the classist system, women's rights, etc. Standards of morality are defined by God, so they shouldn't be changed by man.

This obviously isn't the only show to do this - to get a lot worse over time. I've lost count of how many shows I've stopped watching because of their moral decline. Compared to when I was a teen, my standards for entertainment have gotten a lot higher, but I don't think they've been high enough. One day not too far away, my kids are going to stay up later and watch some of these things with me. Aside from something being too difficult to understand, I really shouldn't be watching anything that I wouldn't feel comfortable watching with my kids sitting next to me.

I resent the fact that members of the Church (no one I know closely, but still) have taken the time to write blog articles about how movies of certain ratings are okay as long as they teach something good. I say baloney. Ratings aren't everything, and they aren't always accurate, but I'm never going to set foot in the territory where I need a blog post to justify watching a movie of a certain rating. If society (which is already messed up) gives it the worst rating possible, there's no way that any good message is going to come through. I'm pretty sure the bad stuff will be stuck in my mind forever, clouding any good message I could have gotten from it.

I'm not sure what shows I currently watch will soon be dropped from my list in the future, but I guess I should quit being so bummed about it. The best thing I can do is drop the show as soon as I can, then forget it ever happened. And there are always books! Because really, most TV/movies are garbage.

Generous

I'm pretty sure I have the most generous family on the earth. My brothers came to visit last Friday. We came home from shopping (they had beaten us here) to see two cars in the driveway. One of those cars is ours now! It's a 2000 Corolla. My family had nicknamed it the Bondo, so we renamed it the James Bondo. James drives it to work, so I can use the 1997 Corolla however I please. My brothers not only drove that car cross-country for us; they gave us a new computer! It's a beast, especially when compared to the laptop that's 5 years old and falling apart. Because of those two purchases, there is a very good chance that we can be debt-free by next year. That makes me feel really good.

I finished scanning in ALL of my family's photos! Total count: 2,800. If you include all the photos I've taken digitally: 4,444. That's after deleting all the ones that weren't good and not scanning every single photo either. If I'd done that, those numbers would be double! I finished Brinson's wedding gift (a photo book), so now all I have to do is wait for a few last-minute photos from my Dad so I can finish a giant scrapbook for my family. Whew! I don't mind waiting on the mail, because I've been working a little too hard on this project (like 4 hours a day), so I could definitely use a break for a few days.

My schedule has opened up quite a bit, I guess you could say. My friend Chelsie used to come over every Monday, but she's moving. I've been over to help her a few times, but she is going to be gone by the end of the month. Perhaps I will start taking the kids to the library, even though it's Katie's morning nap. She is progressing toward an afternoon nap only. I actually attended playgroup today (for maybe the second time in a year) and had a great time. I need to get out more. I have no more excuses!

With most of the photo stuff behind me, I hope to put a little more energy into cooking, especially with vegan recipes. I really enjoy cooking vegan foods. Not all are complicated, but I do like adapting my old recipes sometimes. I like a challenge. Today's recipe that I made up is for white enchiladas, so we'll see how they turn out. I hope to eventually have a vegan version of most of the "fancy" recipes I used to make. So far, so good.

Aside from a good friend moving, I'd say life is pretty good right now. I'm grateful to have such generous parents and in-laws. If it weren't for them, we would probably have an additional 10-15K in debt, but we don't! Hallelujah!

My 10 Books

It's been a crazy week with my big picture project, which is progressing nicely, and the start of preschool today. It's going to be at my house every week since Katie tends to nap at 10, which is right when it starts. I'm happy that I won't have to pack the kids up to go to anyone else's house! I have the most kids at home during preschool, so I feel it's fair.

Without further ado, here are my favorite books of all time. They are mostly childhood books that I've read many times.

(No particular order either.)

Aristotle's Children: This was my favorite book from college that really changed how I think about religion and science. Because of it, I've never felt that there has to be division between the two. (I am one of those people who believes in evolution while still believing in God. :))

To Kill a Mockingbird: The messages in this book really speak to me. As a native Southerner, I also love the descriptions of day-to-day life.

The Book of Mormon: I've loved it since the first time I read it almost 20 years ago. It has a special place in this list since I have read it more than any of the other books.

Anne of Green Gables (series): I really related to Anne the first time I read about her. My middle name is Anne, and though I'm not a redhead, I do have a strong personality that gets me into trouble sometimes.

A Wrinkle in Time (series): The science fiction/religious and mysterious quality of L'engle's books really appealed to me as a 10-11-year-old. I read everything the library had of hers.

The Chronicles of Narnia (series) and other C.S. Lewis adult books: I love that C.S. Lewis wrote the children's series to teach about Christianity. Ever since reading the first book in 5th grade, I devoured the rest. I still love the stories because of their beautiful symbolism. And, they're just fun! His adult books that I've read are really thought-provoking.

The Little House series: I still find these books fascinating because of how they teach self reliance. It's an art that it slowly dying but one I'm trying to keep alive in my house. I love the idea of living off the land and making the best of everything even when resources are limited.

Harry Potter series: I know that many people love these, and I am no exception. I love the symbols of Christianity in the series, the magical world, and the characters. Really, there isn't much to dislike.

Matilda (and other Roald Dahl): I love Dahl's style of writing. His books are goofy, while still teaching good lessons. Matilda spoke to me because it told me that being smart is more than okay. I am still a nerd, but I'm not as embarrassed by it now. (Another favorite: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

The Secret Garden: I've always loved reading historical novels. My grandma gave me this book was I was 7 or 8. My first time reading it was magical. The mystery of the creepy house and uncle was just awesome.

I probably forgot some. A top 50 would probably cover it a little better, and that would be without giving each book in the series its own spot. Oh well. Bookworm woes.