Like most other human beings, I spent years trying to figure out who "I" am. I don't mean who I am in the eternal sense. I know that I am a child of God. My parents taught me that long ago, and it has stuck with me.
Regarding missionary work, I counseled a woman I visit teach, "Just be yourself." Since uttering that, I have wondered over the last 24 hours if I really know who my "self" is. I have decided, happily, that YES! I know who "Sacha" is. Gone are the days that I tried to change myself to please others. I won't pretend to like or hate something just to make someone else happy. I like or dislike things because they make me happy. "Men are that they might have joy", so why would I ever try to go against that? I exist so that I might find joy for myself. My joy depends on me being true to myself, not to anyone else. It is ultimately up to me whether I'm happy or not, and when I feel miserable, it's my own fault, no one else's.
I find balance between blending in and standing out. Some people may want only one or the other, but I want both. I want to belong while still contributing my own "self" to the group, and I do. I rejoice in both my differences and my similarities with others.
I'm happy to be Sacha.
I am left-handed.
I am a Southern girl.
I'm a nerd/geek/what-have-you about many things, especially food. I'm constantly adding to that list of "things".
I love to create.
I love genealogy. I'm proud to have 2 ginormous pedigree charts on my office wall.
I fail a lot at things I try, but that doesn't make me a failure. I tried to like pickles and country music on more than one occasion, but I still don't. That doesn't make me a failure, does it? :)
I'm too bossy sometimes.
My hair is neither brown nor blonde.
Sometimes I talk too much and sometimes not enough.
I love to write poetry, though most of it turns out cheesy.
I am Sacha, and that will never change.
I love this post! Last summer we went camping in Provo canyon and met the most awesomely eccentric camp supervisor. At one point we were talking to him and he was saying something about when one of his sons was a wayward teenager and wanted to "find himself." The camp supervisor said, "a self is made, not 'found.'" Mahon and I both liked that and have talked about it a lot ever since.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to remember that quote always!
DeleteLove this post!! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I went through a similar definitive period recently and think I'll borrow a few of your ideas for myself. I especially like finding the balance between blending in and standing out and the talking too much but sometimes not enough; it's like you've given me permission to do these things too by simply writing them down! So thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, Dani and Taylor. I'm grateful to have you as my friends, even though we live far apart. You ALL have helped me along the way in defining who I am.
ReplyDelete