Breaking Point

Yes, I've reached my breaking point, and it's just barely naptime. Usually it's my own fault. I try to do too much at one time, and then my kids start misbehaving because they want my attention. Messes are made, yelling ensues, and then the guilt sets in for another failed moment where I could've done/reacted/been better. I don't even feel happy about what I've accomplished because I know I easily could've been more patient with the kids. Yet life goes on. I know I'll make this mistake again, but I will try to learn from it and not repeat it this week, at least. ;)

James will be home a lot more this week than last, so that takes away from my stress a bit. The yard work is coming along nicely even though the tiller has been an absolute beast to fix. We will definitely have everything ready in time for a much bigger garden and a lot of grass. I can't wait. I can't wait to be done with it either. Having so much to do has been part of my stress. I feel okay about it for a while, but then I look ahead and get anxious about how much work remains.

A recent women's conference helped me put things into perspective. The last speaker talked about living in the present. When we live in the past, we often dwell on guilt, and when we live in the future, we give ourselves anxiety. I am guilty of both of these things. Living in the present helps me see what I need to do now without getting all worked up about things that I can't change.

The theme of the conference was actually stories. Everyone has a story. If you assume that someone has a perfect life, you just don't know his/her story! Writing my story on this blog helps me realize who I am. Things almost don't seem real to me until they're written down. I'm glad I have a place to share it with others so they can see that I don't have a perfect life even if Facebook makes it seem that way. So yeah, thanks to everyone who reads. I care about all of you too even though I am not great at answering comments. Thank you!