January

Life as we know it is good. I don't have much to update about, because it's all pretty routine.

I have several hobbies that I really enjoy, but I never do them all at once. Right now, my main focus has been on my family history. I'm at a good point for working on it because I have 2 kids who nap for 3 hours in the afternoon and 1 who entertains himself. Since I'm a self-taught genealogist, I never paid much attention to sources before now. (Don't sue me! I was 12.) Now, I'm repenting and adding all the sources I can find (or at least the easy, suggested ones from FamilySearch). So far, I've added sources for the first 9 generations of my family tree, as well as merged duplicates, synced them to my Legacy file, and helped my family request the ordinances that need to be done. That took a huge number of hours, probably 50 total, so I watched a documentary (98 episodes!) about the Joseph Smith Papers Project as I was working.

I felt inspired to study more about Joseph Smith because of some comments from a friend who left the Church. I'm currently reading a book called Rough Stone Rolling, which is a historical view (rather than Church-endorsed, condensed view) of his life. It's absolutely fascinating. I have no doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. There are many things about his life I didn't know. He certainly wasn't a perfect man, not even close, but God worked with that "rough stone" to smooth his edges and polish him into a prophet. The funny thing is that she (now an ex-Mormon) recommended this book. It will not change anyone's view of Joseph as a prophet. As a person, maybe, if you thought he was perfect.

I'm come to realize again and again that one of the most important components of believing is wanting to. If I didn't want to believe something, I'd do everything in my power to tear it down so I felt justified in not believing it. It's exactly what she did to the Church and all religion. I see it happening to another one of my friends, and it breaks my heart.

A trip to the temple helped me clear my mind of these worries. I'm grateful to have one so close so I can do the ordinances I keep finding for my ancestors! I feel a special connection to them as I pore over their names.

Life is good. Others may use their agency to abandon all that is good, but I will never!