The Answers

I've had a few things on my mind besides the baby. (That in itself could be another whole post, because I've had the strangest dreams about her!)

My family's health is really important to me, as I'm sure it is for any mom. Moms are usually in charge of the cooking, so they make most of the health decisions for the family. I never thought that it would be such a big responsibility. I can cook, yes, but who's to say that what I cook is really worth the time and effort? I hadn't studied a whole lot about the quality (nutrition) of the food I make until a few years ago when Joseph was starting to eat solid foods. Something prompted me, in a way, to search for answers to this question,

"How can I feed my family foods they like while effectively balancing cost, nutrition, and time?"

I've read lots of books, some pretty nontraditional when it comes to nutrition. I've tried to make everything that I can from scratch that I don't consider to be a huge pain. For the most part, I'd say we eat "real food", which, along with the Word of Wisdom, best describes how we eat on a normal basis. I spend a lot less than the government says I should be...about 55% of their definition of "frugal". Yet still, something nags me that I could be doing better.

My husband is not normal. (Really!) Due to a chronic health issue, he deals with malabsorption. I've struggled with the thought that it may shorten his life, but also that what I feed him may have a whole lot to do with how long that life is. Since spending more money isn't really an option, I've been thinking a lot about what I can do to make the quality of food we already eat even better.

The answer was clear and simple and came to me while I was studying about food storage (for the long term, which I will be writing about on my other blog).

Sprouts.

I've been at work sprouting everything in my kitchen that has the ability. And guess what? No matter what I sprout, it increases the nutrition by a TON. I've been doing a lot of research on it, and I can't believe that it's not a more commonly explored topic. I realized that even if we can only store basic grains and beans in our long-term storage, that's okay, because sprouting them provides a wealth of vitamins and minerals that otherwise would be locked up. It also increases digestibility, a huge advantage for a person who doesn't digest well, and decreases cooking time, which is always a plus. I can't believe that the answer was staring me in the face this whole time.

My goal now is to sprout all the beans and most of the grains we eat from now on. Ever since eating some sprouts today, I've been craving more. I love healthy cravings, because it feels doubly good to give in to them. That's definitely something I can live with. ;)

Hanging On

I thought my life would get a lot easier once we were settled into our house. Well, physically, I do feel a lot better. While I was working on lots of home projects, I ached...A LOT. Now that I'm back to my normal schedule, which isn't too hardcore, I don't ache except when I wake up in the morning (we have a horrible mattress!). I'm done being pregnant (not really, just frustrated). I've spent over 2 years of my life pregnant now, and the strain just doesn't get any easier! I worry about the same old things...if I'm eating well enough, my weight, balancing naps and nighttime sleep so I get enough. I had terrible insomnia with Joseph for the last two months. With Kenny and this time around, I don't, but I wake up feeling tired. Every. Single. Day. It gets old. Why sleep when it's not restful? I don't know, but I guess I'll keep trying! Newborns are always a welcome relief to me. I feel like I finally have energy, ironically, even though I'm going through healing from birth and have crazy hormones. I am not a nice person when I don't get enough sleep.

I usually am at the end of my rope by the time naptime (1:00) rolls around. I know that a lot of it is perception, but it seems like the amount of toys on the floor is overwhelming. I feel like screaming when I have to sweep (once again) to avoid stepping in gooey rice or who-knows-what since Kenny is not the meticulous eater that Joseph was (and is). It also feels like no one is listening to me when I ask them to help out. Really, I just have a heck of a lot less patience. I sat down to take a rest right before naps. Joseph, who is very perceptive, came up and asked me if I was sad. He then said, "It's okay, my mommy, I'll give you two hugs and two kisses." And then, after doing that (which made me cry), he said, "My daddy will make you happy." That, of course, made me cry more. When I put him and Kenny to bed, Joseph kept saying, "Good night, my sad mommy. It will be all right." I couldn't help but marvel at what an awesome kid he is. I'm glad he's mine.

Kenny is walking all over the place now. I'm not used to seeing it, so it still weirds me out even though he's been old enough to walk since who knows when. He simply didn't want to until last week. He is starting to challenge me even more than before. Bedtime is no longer an issue, but he's decided to use biting as a way to get what he wants. He bit Joseph pretty hard on the arm today, so he got a little swat on the behind which made me feel terrible, because then both boys were crying! Biting is a new/old thing for him, and he's young enough that I could almost overlook it, but I can't if he's going to hurt people. I worry a little about nursery in a month. He is starting to communicate more and knows a few short "sentences", such as, "Take it!" and "Baby down". It's cute to hear him sing and do motions for "Book of Mormon Stories" and "The Wheels on the Bus". He absolutely loves music and dances to everything. I can tell that he's already going to be one heck of a stubborn toddler, but not unlike me at that age. I think that's what scares me the most...a kid who is just like me!

I took a trip to Provo last Friday/Saturday. It was really great. I've been bad about staying in touch with my old roommate, Tanisha, but I finally called her up and arranged to take a trip by myself (James's idea) to see her. I left after James got home from school and got to Provo around 7:00. Nisha and I stayed up too late talking and catching up. I slept all right, just not long enough. We ate a leisurely breakfast and took a tour of BYU campus, which I've never done before. I loved the art and science buildings! We then got Thai for lunch. Nisha introduced me to Thai food, and I am ever grateful for that...and the recipes! There is no Thai food in Vernal, but I can make some darn good curry and pretty darn good pad Thai. :) We hung out in the afternoon and then found a Hispanic festival going on in downtown Provo, so we stopped by and got some food there. My drive home was pretty good.

I spent the next two days recovering since I was completely wiped out. We didn't do anything special for Labor Day, though James did help our neighbor finish his French drain and put a little gravel in our yard on the side. It looks a lot better, because it was just dirt and weeds before. James got a new calling, 2nd counselor in the elders' quorum. I laugh because it's the exact calling he had in our old ward. Apparently, there is a lot of work for him to do.

Our ward is really awesome. I feel like I haven't been as good at reaching out since I'm tired and have Kenny half of the time during Relief Society. On a good day, he is still challenging. I can't blame him too much, because Relief Society starts at his naptime. 11-2 church is definitely not my favorite, because it takes away my chance to nap too, so I can barely stay awake during all three meetings. Oh well. We have one more month until Kenny goes to nursery, and a few weeks after that, our baby girl is due. I sure hope I'm up to the challenge of 3 kids, because that day will be here soon.

Pregnancy Stuff

Since I like statistics and things, I've kept track a little bit to see how the three pregnancies compare. So far, it would seem that my 2nd and 3rd are much more similar to each other than to my first. I guess that dispels those old wives' tales about boy/girl pregnancies being different since #2 was a boy and #3 is a girl. (I've had a couple of dreams about her turning out to be a boy, which is a little funny and unsettling!)

Nausea has been better each time, so I had almost none this time around.

Weight gain is about the same each time. I got a few new stretch marks with #2 and a few new ones with #3. I look bigger sooner each time, but that's pretty typical from what I hear.

The quality of sleep was horrible with #1 but okay with #2 and #3. I can't say that I ever feel really rested because I toss and turn a lot, but I don't have insomnia, thank goodness. I don't take naps because they make me feel worse, but I put my feet up a lot. Fatigue overall has gotten a little worse each time, but it probably has to do with not being able to sleep in and having more to do around the house...like taking care of 2 other kids!

Aches and pains were least annoying with #2 because I worked out faithfully but didn't overwork myself like I have this time. Now that I'm taking the time to put my feet up, I actually don't hurt at all anymore. (Crossing my fingers that it stays this way.) When I do, I've had the same two achy spots as #1 and #2. I'm really grateful for yoga and warm baths.

As for cravings, there hasn't been anything in common with all 3. For #2 and #3, I have craved raw veggies like salad,  as well as beans and eggs. Yes, I give in to those cravings. :)

As for delivery and the baby, we will have to wait and see! The strange thing is that labor started at 3 a.m. both times for the boys, so I wonder how it will all turn out. I'm trying not to anticipate anything about it since it has been unpredictable and harder than I thought it would be both times past. I'd love to not be overdue, but we'll see. Less than 2 months left, I hope.

On a completely unrelated note, James started school yesterday. He is having a good time so far. Teaching (and not concrete!) is definitely the job for him.

Recent Happenings

I love living in a house. It's a huge contrast to the really trashy apartment we lived in until almost a month ago. This first month has really flown by since I've kept myself so busy with home projects. Don't worry, I haven't purposely tried to overexert myself, but yet I still have. Oops. I suppose that's in my nature. Despite this being my third time pregnant, it still seems to drag on forever. I don't try to be especially pessimistic about it, but some familiar achy muscles have returned to remind me that even after all I do, there is still going to be some discomfort over these last 10 weeks.

10 weeks! I'm 3/4 of the way done. It almost seems like a brand-new experience since I'm having a little girl this time. I almost feel like I have no idea what to expect. I guess we'll see how little girls are different from little boys. I can't imagine this little girl being any different (personality-wise) than the boys already are from each other. They are like night and day.

But I was talking about projects. Most of the things I've done have been small things: some deep cleaning on the few areas that the former owners missed, unpacking the last few boxes, a little bit of OCD organizing to make sure I've put everything where I want, etc. I've also had some fun. The pictures will speak for themselves.

New church schedule = tired and cranky children all day. Sundays are not my favorite right now.

This jackrabbit is HUGE and hangs out in our yard a lot.

James's end-of-summer gift to himself. I enjoyed shooting it while Joseph pulled the trap.

Kenny loves to draw with sidewalk chalk! Our patio is covered in art.

James built this little house from pallets. Joseph likes it, but not as much as riding his trike.

We had FHE on the patio with "fire marshmallows" as the treat. I still burn all of mine.

I made this! It's one of those OCD projects that makes me feel crafty.

Same here, but it means no more moldy bath toys. Thanks, Pinterest and D.I.!

Little girl's room. I made these curtains from a sheet I got at D.I., so they cost me $2. Our house came with curtain rods already installed in most of the rooms. :)

The other side of little girl's room. The pillow matches the curtains! I was trying to fix the 3rd drawer in the dresser, but I broke it. That's what happens when you're still using a $5 dresser 4 years later...

Some bows I made for little girl, and a shot of her. 10 weeks left!

Last view of the room. She gets to host my keyboard and vacuum...for now.

Other than that, the summer is winding down and James start school on Monday. We finally had some friends from dinner on Sunday, the first time in about 6 months. I also called an old roommate that I haven't talked to since Christmas. I'm such a slacker at communicating with people, but friends are everything to me! (So if I never talk to you, I am very sorry! I still love you.)

For Her

A quick update of our doings over the last few weeks: James is still working concrete, and I've been doing small repair/cleaning/organizing projects around the house. You can call it nesting, but I call it OCD. We're adjusting well to the new responsibilities we have, like a lawn that needs to come back to life. Other than that, life goes on as normal. Kenny is 16 mos. now and shows no sign of wanting to walk. One day...

I've noticed that society likes numbers and statistics for just about everything. Think about it: there's IQ, GPA, phone numbers, addresses...and of course, BMI.

Numbers identify us. My phone number is mine alone. If you call it, you will get me (unless I don't answer, but you get the picture.) My address tells where I live. A simple zip code puts me in a 10-mile radius of exactly where I live on earth. My house number will take you right to my front door.

Since studying to be a teacher, my view of numbers for grouping people has changed. IQ? Not so great. Test scores? Same thing. A person is not a phone or a house. A phone or house stays put (relatively speaking), but a person is dynamic, always changing, and unique, even if that person fits into certain groups based on numbers.

I don't mean to say that grouping people is always a bad thing. Grouping people based on statistics sometimes is, especially when it comes to health.

I am 29 weeks pregnant as I write this. Ever since I've been able to understand the concept of BMI, it has been a plague to my mind. When I am at my healthiest, that chart would have me believe that I'm borderline to overweight. When I'm pregnant and gain 30 pounds, I feel huge. It wasn't so bad with my first child. I fully expected everything to be a lot harder than it was. I didn't pay attention to my weight during the whole 40 weeks. At my last checkup, I peeked and saw that I'd only gained 30, so I felt good, because I'd expected a lot more than that.

After my first child was born, I quickly lost all the weight but 5 lbs. That came off as soon as I stopped nursing, so not until a year later. Despite that 5 pounds, I fit (relatively) comfortably into my regular clothes at one week postpartum.

The same story was true for my second pregnancy, but I started worrying about the numbers. I don't know why I did, because it made no difference except to stress me out. I still gained 30 lbs. despite my best efforts to maybe gain a little less. The addition of healthier eating and exercise almost seemed like it had been in vain. I forgot that it wasn't about the numbers. I felt a ton better during my second pregnancy. I just wasn't any lighter.

This pregnancy has been the biggest challenge of all. I never lost that nursing weight because I was still nursing when I got pregnant. That meant I started off with an extra 7 pounds on top of what I knew I'd already gain. In my mind, it was like a death sentence. "I am going to weigh more than I ever have before once I'm about to give birth." Ouch.

I don't know why I own a scale. Perhaps it's because I feel like I need those numbers. I need to reach a certain number to feel like I fit into the "BMI" standard of health. I know that it isn't true. I'm always going to weigh "a lot" for my height. That's been true for me since I was a baby. Why does any of it really matter? If I base my health simply on how I feel, I don't need numbers for anything. Whether I'm pregnant or not, I am generally without aches and pains, have enough energy to do what I need to, and don't get sick for more than a day or two. I even manage to sleep well, even this late in pregnancy, and my doctor has proclaimed that I am "boring". He isn't the first doctor to say so.

I don't want to be defined by numbers that are totally subjective and based on something the government made up. Since when are they the authority on everything? For health issues, they are usually pretty far off anyway. I can worry my whole life about fitting into a BMI chart. Or, I can actually make sure that my health is the best that I know it can be. Perhaps my exact weight will return to what it was as long as I continue doing the best I can with what I have. Perhaps it won't. I wish I could say that I absolutely won't worry about it, but that isn't true. Every time I look in the mirror to see new stretch marks, I cringe a little. I admit it. I like to stay the same. Pregnancy really throws me for a loop, and I don't know that I will ever get used to it, no matter how many times I go through it.

I want to think better of myself, though. I'm having my very first daughter in a few months. I don't want her to grow up hearing me say that I'm fat or ugly. I don't want her to worry obsessively about her weight - ever! I want to be an example of good health, not good statistics. I don't ever want her view of herself to suffer from my example, my poor example of appreciating the body I have, even though it's flawed.

No measure of a person's true worth can be represented by a number. I need to remember this and live it. It's not too late to start.

Buying a House: To Make a Long Story Short...

Buying a house is a lot like having a baby.

1. When you first think about it, it's a little scary. It's a lot of commitment. A child is forever, and a house is almost that. 30 years? I can't even imagine.

2. When the timing is right, you just know. I've had lots of friends buy houses before me. I thought we might've (or should've) saved more money first before even looking, but May of this year was the time for us, so we took the leap and got pre-approved for a loan.

3. You'll never feel quite rich enough for one. I have yet to actually "save up" to have a baby. We had exactly what we needed to get a house, but no more. It's always worked out remarkably well, but I can't explain why or how.

4. You'll never have a perfect one, but you'll get the right one. I knew this before we started looking at houses. I don't know what I wanted, exactly, but I knew it when I saw it. It wasn't completely what I would've expected, but I love it. The same can be said of my children!

5. It'll probably cost more than you think. My doctor's bills are piling up as I write this. :) Houses in this area aren't cheap because the market didn't suffer as much as it did nationally. We found that we couldn't afford a regular stick-built home in our price range, but that's okay. Although our loan covers 100%, there were a couple of fees we had to cover out of pocket.

Earnest money: $500 (Goes to the realtor.)
Home inspection: $300
Appraiser: $465

6. It takes a stinking long time. When people tell you about the paperwork involved, they aren't kidding. I am one of those people who finds pregnancy to be insufferably long, especially in the last month...and week...and any day I go over my due date!

Our original closing date was set at June 26th, and I thought, "Okay, this is nice, but I bet it won't happen." It didn't. Neither did July 9th, 15th, or 17th. I came to realize that the 26th of June felt a lot like my 37th week in pregnancy. Sure, the baby is "full term", but nothing is going to happen. By the 17th, (3 weeks later), I started feeling like having a nervous breakdown. I felt exactly like I did when I reached my due date with Kenny but had no idea if he was ever going to be born.

We finally closed on Friday, 2 days after what I felt was the "due date".

7. It's a lot of work but completely worth it. The first month with a baby is the hardest for me, and I think my first month as a homeowner is just as hard. I have a lot of the same feelings: "Am I really ready for this? Will the work ever end? It is going to get easier?"

Even a week later, the answer is YES! My initial fears have calmed down a lot. I have a list of projects to do and a yard to think about now, but I love my home because it's my very own. Without further ado, here are some pictures of our place. (The same as FB, sorry!)

living room

office (back of living room)

kitchen/dining

my silly boys

laundry

shelving in laundry

front view of the wilderness

boys' room

bath

spare/future girl's (or girls') room

master

master bath

front

back yard

pretty view out front

another nice view

Quitting Time

I apologize for the lack of pictures of my house. I'll get them uploaded tomorrow! Today, I need to vent some frustration about something completing unrelated to my house. Rather, it involves a big project and technology.

Recently, I completed a project where I transferred old cassette tapes of my grandma over into CD's so we can have them to listen to forever. The project had a few bumps along the way, but I adjusted and got it all done with cheap technology from Amazon and a small learning curve on using sound-editing software. Not bad? I thought so. I also thought it would be easy to take my family's old video tapes (8mm or Hi8) and change them into DVD's.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

Fail #1: Dad sent the video camera, but the cord was missing and it had no battery.

Fail #2: I ordered what I thought was the right adapter for it. It turned out to only charge batteries and the adapter didn't fit the video camera.

Fail #3: Lots of searching at thrift stores and online was met with no success for finding the actual adapter to the camera.

Fail # 4: Dad found the camera case with an adapter in it. The adapter was the correct voltage but still didn't fit.

Fail #5: Two brand-new batteries that were in the case failed to work either. (That charger I accidentally got did charge them, but the battery part of the camera doesn't work at all. So, new batteries or not, it doesn't matter.)

Fail #6: The software that came with my video capture device refused to work, even after uninstalling and reinstalling, plus other troubleshooting. I downloaded a newer version and got it to work with my VCR, but it only has a 15-day trial.

Fail #7: I got one of my VHS tapes onto my computer and burned two different DVD's, but neither had sound.

Fail #8: I tried transferring the video file to two other programs. Neither was compatible, so I couldn't try burning another DVD.

Fail #9: Radio Shack couldn't help us find something to fit the video camera.

To quote Napoleon Dynamite, "It's a piece of crap; it doesn't work!"

I am usually pretty persistent, but I think I'm going to quit right here. Can anyone blame me? I feel like I've tried everything in the book (and more) to get this process to work, but it just doesn't.

Solution: Get someone else to do it for me and pay $10 per DVD. Will it be worth it? Yes. It's frustrating to have to admit defeat, but my family's videos will still be preserved. That's what really matters. I can't wait to watch them. I've been wanting to, but life happens. Lesson learned: technology from the 90's is not really compatible with today's. If you can't get it to work, you probably aren't alone!