Hanging On

I thought my life would get a lot easier once we were settled into our house. Well, physically, I do feel a lot better. While I was working on lots of home projects, I ached...A LOT. Now that I'm back to my normal schedule, which isn't too hardcore, I don't ache except when I wake up in the morning (we have a horrible mattress!). I'm done being pregnant (not really, just frustrated). I've spent over 2 years of my life pregnant now, and the strain just doesn't get any easier! I worry about the same old things...if I'm eating well enough, my weight, balancing naps and nighttime sleep so I get enough. I had terrible insomnia with Joseph for the last two months. With Kenny and this time around, I don't, but I wake up feeling tired. Every. Single. Day. It gets old. Why sleep when it's not restful? I don't know, but I guess I'll keep trying! Newborns are always a welcome relief to me. I feel like I finally have energy, ironically, even though I'm going through healing from birth and have crazy hormones. I am not a nice person when I don't get enough sleep.

I usually am at the end of my rope by the time naptime (1:00) rolls around. I know that a lot of it is perception, but it seems like the amount of toys on the floor is overwhelming. I feel like screaming when I have to sweep (once again) to avoid stepping in gooey rice or who-knows-what since Kenny is not the meticulous eater that Joseph was (and is). It also feels like no one is listening to me when I ask them to help out. Really, I just have a heck of a lot less patience. I sat down to take a rest right before naps. Joseph, who is very perceptive, came up and asked me if I was sad. He then said, "It's okay, my mommy, I'll give you two hugs and two kisses." And then, after doing that (which made me cry), he said, "My daddy will make you happy." That, of course, made me cry more. When I put him and Kenny to bed, Joseph kept saying, "Good night, my sad mommy. It will be all right." I couldn't help but marvel at what an awesome kid he is. I'm glad he's mine.

Kenny is walking all over the place now. I'm not used to seeing it, so it still weirds me out even though he's been old enough to walk since who knows when. He simply didn't want to until last week. He is starting to challenge me even more than before. Bedtime is no longer an issue, but he's decided to use biting as a way to get what he wants. He bit Joseph pretty hard on the arm today, so he got a little swat on the behind which made me feel terrible, because then both boys were crying! Biting is a new/old thing for him, and he's young enough that I could almost overlook it, but I can't if he's going to hurt people. I worry a little about nursery in a month. He is starting to communicate more and knows a few short "sentences", such as, "Take it!" and "Baby down". It's cute to hear him sing and do motions for "Book of Mormon Stories" and "The Wheels on the Bus". He absolutely loves music and dances to everything. I can tell that he's already going to be one heck of a stubborn toddler, but not unlike me at that age. I think that's what scares me the most...a kid who is just like me!

I took a trip to Provo last Friday/Saturday. It was really great. I've been bad about staying in touch with my old roommate, Tanisha, but I finally called her up and arranged to take a trip by myself (James's idea) to see her. I left after James got home from school and got to Provo around 7:00. Nisha and I stayed up too late talking and catching up. I slept all right, just not long enough. We ate a leisurely breakfast and took a tour of BYU campus, which I've never done before. I loved the art and science buildings! We then got Thai for lunch. Nisha introduced me to Thai food, and I am ever grateful for that...and the recipes! There is no Thai food in Vernal, but I can make some darn good curry and pretty darn good pad Thai. :) We hung out in the afternoon and then found a Hispanic festival going on in downtown Provo, so we stopped by and got some food there. My drive home was pretty good.

I spent the next two days recovering since I was completely wiped out. We didn't do anything special for Labor Day, though James did help our neighbor finish his French drain and put a little gravel in our yard on the side. It looks a lot better, because it was just dirt and weeds before. James got a new calling, 2nd counselor in the elders' quorum. I laugh because it's the exact calling he had in our old ward. Apparently, there is a lot of work for him to do.

Our ward is really awesome. I feel like I haven't been as good at reaching out since I'm tired and have Kenny half of the time during Relief Society. On a good day, he is still challenging. I can't blame him too much, because Relief Society starts at his naptime. 11-2 church is definitely not my favorite, because it takes away my chance to nap too, so I can barely stay awake during all three meetings. Oh well. We have one more month until Kenny goes to nursery, and a few weeks after that, our baby girl is due. I sure hope I'm up to the challenge of 3 kids, because that day will be here soon.