Thursday, April 30, 2015


The past week has been normal, if there is such a thing. We went to the library for story time on Monday. The kids really love it because it includes songs and activities. Wednesday I babysat 2 neighbor kids. It was crazy to take care of a baby again. I'm totally not ready for that again. It takes a lot of work for even a happy baby.

Yard work wise, we finished building the garden boxes, started filling them with dirt, and started digging the creek bed. It looks really cool! I don't really want to take pictures yet since it's a work in progress. After we tightened the drive belt and fixed the tire, the tiller did a great job digging the creek bed. Who would want to do all that by hand? Landscaping feels a lot like taming a beast - a great big beast called the desert. I used to take for granted living in a place where grass grows naturally. It sure doesn't here!

I had an emotional weekend, no thanks to PMS. As further proof that I don't always choose my moods, refer to last Thursday. I went to the temple feeling incredibly grateful to be there after about a month. I found out after waiting for 20 minutes that I had missed the session by 10 minutes. (I thought it was at 6:30, not 6:00). Upon learning this information, I started crying uncontrollably. It's embarrassing to even admit that here. The nice ladies let me go to the celestial room as I was. I tried to cry quietly, but it echoed a lot in there, so I didn't stay long. I felt so incredibly stupid! I couldn't get over the fact that I was late and missed the chance to go to a session. I had a quiet thought that it isn't about the numbers, which I know but often forget. That moment was just for me to reflect on my hard day. I won't forget it.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Breaking Point

Yes, I've reached my breaking point, and it's just barely naptime. Usually it's my own fault. I try to do too much at one time, and then my kids start misbehaving because they want my attention. Messes are made, yelling ensues, and then the guilt sets in for another failed moment where I could've done/reacted/been better. I don't even feel happy about what I've accomplished because I know I easily could've been more patient with the kids. Yet life goes on. I know I'll make this mistake again, but I will try to learn from it and not repeat it this week, at least. ;)

James will be home a lot more this week than last, so that takes away from my stress a bit. The yard work is coming along nicely even though the tiller has been an absolute beast to fix. We will definitely have everything ready in time for a much bigger garden and a lot of grass. I can't wait. I can't wait to be done with it either. Having so much to do has been part of my stress. I feel okay about it for a while, but then I look ahead and get anxious about how much work remains.

A recent women's conference helped me put things into perspective. The last speaker talked about living in the present. When we live in the past, we often dwell on guilt, and when we live in the future, we give ourselves anxiety. I am guilty of both of these things. Living in the present helps me see what I need to do now without getting all worked up about things that I can't change.

The theme of the conference was actually stories. Everyone has a story. If you assume that someone has a perfect life, you just don't know his/her story! Writing my story on this blog helps me realize who I am. Things almost don't seem real to me until they're written down. I'm glad I have a place to share it with others so they can see that I don't have a perfect life even if Facebook makes it seem that way. So yeah, thanks to everyone who reads. I care about all of you too even though I am not great at answering comments. Thank you!

Thursday, April 16, 2015


I never feel that I'm quite happy with the weather unless it's warmer than 50 degrees and not windy. Days that fit that description are far too few in Utah. I hate to complain about the weather all the time, but how am I supposed to get my Vitamin D when the winds are strong enough to blow pieces of siding off the house? It's not exactly kid-friendly weather either.

The past two weeks have been really stressful. Mainly, James has had a lot going on and lots to catch up on at school, so I haven't seen much of him. I've been trying to stay positive, but being alone all day with the kids and putting them to bed by myself and doing all the cleaning has made me a little grumpy. The nasty weather isn't helping, but still I press on.

I've been surprised at how much yard work I've been able to do on my own. I've spread out the dirt from about 2/3 of the pile. Once I finish that, we can start building the creek bed, hopefully this weekend. One good thing about the yucky weather is that I remember it isn't time to plant grass yet, so we have plenty of time to finish getting ready for it. One more month, and then I hope to relax little and enjoy an awesome yard! Then, we can work on the inside of the house.

In kid happenings, Katie has started to walk! She turns 18 months in a week, so I thought it was never going to happen. Joseph has learned how to tell time (to the hour) on a regular clock. What? I think he's going to be a math whiz. I can't believe how much he knows without my teaching him any of it. We'll see.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Spring Break

The funny thing about spring break is that the weather isn't very spring-like in Utah/Idaho. This year was no exception. We got snowed on on Thursday but sunburned by Saturday. There has been snow today and yesterday too. We worked in the yard while listening to Conference and had a sort of relaxing day Sunday (since we got to sit down!) Kenny turned 3. AND it was Easter. Holy cow, it was a crazy spring break. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

got a load of topsoil on Friday after moving all the pit liner and remaining rocks

excited boy opening his presents

Kenny's main present: a sandbox!

I made "Good Eats" cake, as requested (devil's food).

Katie liked it too!

A whole lot of whining happened while we were working in the yard.

We did a little egg hunt in our yard on Saturday.

What's left in the yard: spread out topsoil, build dry creek bed (with the gravel and rocks on the patio/walkway), plant grass, plant the garden (3X the space as last year.) I'm really excited to see how it all looks when it's done. Between last summer and this year, we have spent hundreds of hours outside. It's going to be well worth it.