Over the weekend, we watched several movies: the Eras Tour, Wonka, PotC, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I had a RS brunch and broadcast Saturday and Sunday and kept busy during the days so only the evenings got lonely. I think this is the worst cold I've had all winter, and it's the first one that has progressed beyond headache/fatigue. I'm getting impatient because I want to be all better by Monday (my birthday). Though I haven't had a big project to work on, I've still been busy with my regular stuff. I'm also making a Holy Week book so we can study and sing about Easter all week long. I've been meaning to do it for a few years, ever since I made a Christmas Advent book, but I've never gotten around to it until now.
I keep getting the questions about when I'll start working. Here's the thing: I still have no idea. I know because of the photos project that I only have a part-time number of hours to spare in a week, maybe 15-20. It takes a lot of time and energy to take care of a house, husband, 5 children, and myself. I've been volunteering in Samantha's class once a week for 2 hours, and I don't feel particularly excited to go start teaching. I'm an introvert. Having hours at home alone has been amazing for my level of patience when the kids get home. They deserve a happy mom who isn't stressed out from being around other people's kids all day. Because of various projects this year, all the spare time I've had has been spent on canning, family history, and taking care of sick children in between. I've had very few instances of getting bored, even though I've had 4-7 hours alone every day.
Our neighbor mowed his grass already, and that's another kind of peer pressure I don't enjoy. We don't need to water till it gets to 70 degrees, and we're not there yet. It still makes me feel a little bad this his yard is so perfect. Yeah, we have grass, and we spend a fair amount of time maintaining it, but we don't go all out like he does. And yeah, that's a silly thing to feel pressure over, but it happens every year.
I resent feeling rushed in any way. I have my own timelines for things. I can be decisive about things when I need to be, but thinking too far ahead has only led to more anxiety, which I don't need. Today, I'm staying home with my children and not mowing or watering my lawn, and I will not feel bad about it.
The pressures you are talking about are so real. We live close to a golf course and so of course they have perfect lawns and have started watering. Plus, we live across the street from a retired couple so their lawn is perfect. We have 5 kids and want a lawn thats nice but we also don't have time and resources to manicure it.
ReplyDeleteAlso the pressure to work when your kids go to school is crazy and honestly if you and James can do it and you want to stay home, do it! I think their is so much value in being home for your family even if they are at school. There was a lady that I admire in our ward and she was talking about this struggle, and she said she felt that the Lord needed her at home to serve him when he needed. There is lots of help needed in the middle of the day and its hard to find because people work. But you do you. I feel like you have always done whats best for you and your family even if it isn't the norm. You are awesome!
Thank you! You are so kind, and an awesome mom as well. :)
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