Relaxing

Our Thanksgiving did end up fine. Our meal at Denny's was actually quite tasty. I ended up cooking a second Thanksgiving meal on Saturday because I really wanted leftovers.

Holly Days was extremely fun. Everything was free! kettle corn, hot chocolate, cotton candy, marshmallows, fries, pony rides, bouncy houses. a fire dancing show...plus about a million other things we didn't have time for. It was seriously awesome. Katie is still talking about her pony ride.

I've been keeping it together even though Kenny is sick now. I've been working on small things around the house, but nothing big because I feel like a break is in order. My life has its ups and downs, and right now feels like a time to sit back, reflect, and enjoy the Christmas season instead of starting up another big project. (Though, I do really thrive on those. I feel my best when I'm the perfect amount of "busy".) I have several things in mind for the future, but for now I'm just going to wait.

I'm enjoying the idea of Christmas more this year. Maybe it's because our Thanksgiving was very simple; I don't know. I'm really excited to travel to NC for Mara and Ricky's wedding. I'm trying to be less anxious about it than I am. I don't mind flying, but I worry about making the flight on time and possible icy roads. I know it's going to work out, though.

Today's small project will be putting together two coat racks/stands. Our house does not have a good mud room or entry way or coat closet, so that's my only option: one coat stand at each door. I really hope it eliminates coats lying around everywhere. We'll see.

Unlucky

So, I realize why I dislike October/November. Bad stuff almost always happens to my family.

2009: James ended up with a really bad kidney stone that required surgery.

2010: James had to get a ton of dental work done, and we had no insurance.

2011: Uncle Mike passed away, and he was way too young.

2013: I had a baby. Though a wonderful thing too, it's super tough to have a newborn. Adjusting to 3 kids really kicked my butt at first.

2015: James had another kidney stone surgery.

2016: Tons of things went wrong when we were trying to register our cars. It cost a lot of extra money, time, and worry.

2017: James had a bad reaction to his gout medication, which caused him to throw up and get really dehydrated. His potassium level dropped dangerously low, so I took him to Urgent Care and then the ER last night. He spent the night in the hospital get rehydrated.

 There is always a silver lining.

a) We can afford all the medical bills because we have good insurance AND savings.

b) We will get to eat out for dinner. It should be a different, but fun experience.

c) We'll get to attend Holly Days (a sort of festival downtown) tomorrow. We are never here for it.

d) It will be, in a way, a more relaxing holiday now that everyone's home.

I do miss my family, but I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my parents since high school anyway. I guess I've gotten used to that. It's still a bummer we don't get to see Mara and Ricky, Nash, and all the Heads. Next year. This is still only the second most exciting week of the year. It wasn't as stressful as the NICU! Thank goodness for that.

Grumpy

This won't be a super happy post, so I am sorry in advance. My life is not perfect. I'm really struggling to see the good in it this week. Though November is supposed to be a month of giving thanks, I always have a difficult time with it because of the dark days. I would say cold, but it hasn't been that cold yet, nothing more than a hoodie required for when I go outside.

I feel like I'm not good at anything. I can't seem to remember to do my daughter's hair, the house is always messy from 7 am to 8 pm, and I can't seem to stop eating snacks at night when all my negative emotions hit. I know I should be trying to be a little healthier, and the fact that I don't try harder makes me feel guilty. I have all the knowledge I need to be in perfect shape, but I lack the desire. It doesn't help that I hate exercising. At best, I tolerate it. I only do it now to avoid pain. It does work, but it certainly isn't the best motivating factor.

The past two days have been especially difficult. I got some bad news, and instead of giving emotional support, James has been sick and asleep. I know it's not his fault, but the timing is especially unfortunate. He stayed home yesterday and hardly got out of bed. He takes maybe 1 sick day every 2 years. Why does it have to be when I need him the most?

I remember reading something about cravings going away if you ignore them for 20 minutes. Well, last night I was going to try hard not to eat a bunch of snacks just to feel better. After an hour, I couldn't stand it anymore and just did it anyway. I honestly don't know how to handle my negative emotions in a healthy way. I guess food isn't the worst thing in the world. I've been dealing with food my entire life. There is nothing else that works so quickly. At least it's not drugs, right?

Things will get better. It won't always be dark. I know we've been given seasons to be able to appreciate change. I just haven't learned to appreciate November yet. I used to hate October too, but I really enjoyed it the past 2 years. I'll take it one day at a time.

Tired...Again

I hate Daylight Saving Time and wish it would die. My kids have done fine adjusting, but I am tired still!

The Heads visited last Thursday - Saturday. We went out to dinner on Thursday, and it was delicious. Friday, we went swimming at the hotel pool, ate dinner together at home, and played games.

Saturday morning, we just hung out. I played the piano for stake baptisms and got home just in time for us to go to the ward service project, raking leaves in someone's yard. There was lunch afterward. James and I then went on a date to see the new Thor movie. It wasn't the most deep story, but it was a fun movie. We finally got home at almost 7 and did nothing productive the rest of the day. The kids went to bed late because of the time change. It worked! The earliest risers were up around 6, which is pretty typical of any other day.

I went to a baby shower on Tuesday at Cafe Rio. It was pretty fun. I got to practice a little Spanish too.

Yesterday, James went hunting and had bishopric meeting after dinner, so I just relaxed until he got home. Today I'll be shopping.

Projects this week: another latch hook rug while listening to some C.S. Lewis, updating my food blogs to have Instant Pot recipes. It's nice to have some variety besides just sewing. Every time I worry about finding a project to do, I figure something out. :)

Lewis's Rough Week

Poor Lewis has been working on 4 teeth all at once for the past few weeks. I think the last one finally popped through today. It's made him super grumpy off and on.

Starting Monday, Lewis was miserable with a cold and mild fever. I kept him somewhat happy with ibuprofen, but he just wasn't himself and felt super crummy. He finally doesn't have a fever today. We went to the doctor for a checkup. Lewis has fallen off the charts for weight, so the doctor recommended supplementing with formula. I've never had to do this before, but I've also never had such an active baby at this age. I feel like a terrible mom for not trying to give him more calorically-dense foods. I guess our meals are too healthy to make someone fat? I don't know how I'm going to convince  him to drink any formula. The doctor said the nutritional value doesn't even matter, just that it has lots of calories. I'm worried that he will refuse anything I try to give him. He doesn't like bottles at all. I guess we'll see what happens over the next few months.

James took a conceal carry class yesterday. And of course we celebrated Halloween with the ward Trunk or Treat. Lewis stayed home with James since he was so sick. We have visitors coming today (the Heads) until Saturday morning.

I've done a few small sewing projects and hope to complete a few more. They are just upcycles from some things I had lying around the house.

Here's to hoping that the mom guilt will let up a bit. I don't want to cry.