The rest of our time in Rexburg was pretty straightforward. I only had one meltdown because I'd been so lonely on Thanksgiving, and then Samantha was pretty cranky on Friday and Saturday.
Friday: hung out, dinner with the Lees and Hirsts
Saturday: went to Mara and Ricky's for lunch, made dinner for my siblings (turkey noodle soup)
Sunday: Church, during which Lewis and Samantha napped!
Monday: travel home with a long stop at the Layton Mall for lunch and playtime, then unpacking and a quick FHE
Tuesday: catching up on everything
Wednesday: prepping the tree for 3 hours by removing all the "pre-lit" lights that don't work anymore (My hands are scratched and sore from pulling off zip ties, knots, and clips!) and putting new lights on the tree
Today: finished actual decorating for Christmas, shopping later
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Thursday, November 22, 2018
Happy Thanksgiving!
This past week hasn't been too busy. In fact, I can't think of anything of note except that I strained a muscle by putting the turkey to thaw on the top shelf of the fridge. It's finally almost better today, a week later. So lame. I iced it for the first few days, rested as much as possible (ha ha), and then used heat for a few days after. The first few nights, I could barely sleep because of the pain.
James gave a talk on Sunday, and the kids were remarkably good during it. Several people commented on how well they think I do my music calling in Primary. It's so good to hear because I often (always) feel inadequate for the job.
Our trip to Rexburg wasn't too bad. We left at 8:40 and got both breakfast and lunch out to save time on cleanup at home. Our lunch stop was the longest because we let the kids play. Samantha cried some and was pretty upset during the evening after we arrived (4:40ish), but she eventually settled down and went to bed all right, then slept all night. I really do think travel is the worst. The packing and cleaning before, the crying and fighting in the car, the boredom, and then all the work afterward just make for a huge amount of stress for me. While I'm here (or elsewhere), I have a hard time really relaxing because it just isn't in my nature to do so for long periods of time and I'm not at home, so I'm not fully comfortable. The same is true whether I'm at in-laws' or parents' houses. Maybe when I'm old, something will change.
So it's Thanksgiving Day and I'm all alone except for Samantha, who is napping. It's been okay, I guess, but it feels wrong to be all alone right now when so many are gathering already to eat the big meal. Nash is staying here, but he left to go spend time with Carmel. I cleaned the upstairs shower and put the turkey in the oven, then had some chicken nuggets for lunch. Everyone is coming over at 4 (or 5) for the meal, but until then, I think I'm on my own. James took the older 4 kids to his grandparents' house in Victor. We did agree to this plan, but I didn't realize how sad I'd feel the first part of this day. Once again, I wish I could be in two places and see all the people I'm related to. It's year 13 of not eating Thanksgiving with my parents.
On the bright side, it is peaceful and quiet. I already made two pecan pies yesterday and only have to do the turkey, gravy, and dressing. (I'm of the opinion that one should never stuff a turkey and that the dressing should be crispy.) It isn't my kitchen, but it is nice to be able to cook the main course the way I'd like. I suppose I can be particular about things from time to time.
This year has been a tough one, but there are many things I've been grateful for, especially things relating to the timing of the challenges I've been through. They would be too long to list here right now, so I won't, but I feel like things are going pretty well overall even though I have my moments of frustration or despair.
James gave a talk on Sunday, and the kids were remarkably good during it. Several people commented on how well they think I do my music calling in Primary. It's so good to hear because I often (always) feel inadequate for the job.
Our trip to Rexburg wasn't too bad. We left at 8:40 and got both breakfast and lunch out to save time on cleanup at home. Our lunch stop was the longest because we let the kids play. Samantha cried some and was pretty upset during the evening after we arrived (4:40ish), but she eventually settled down and went to bed all right, then slept all night. I really do think travel is the worst. The packing and cleaning before, the crying and fighting in the car, the boredom, and then all the work afterward just make for a huge amount of stress for me. While I'm here (or elsewhere), I have a hard time really relaxing because it just isn't in my nature to do so for long periods of time and I'm not at home, so I'm not fully comfortable. The same is true whether I'm at in-laws' or parents' houses. Maybe when I'm old, something will change.
So it's Thanksgiving Day and I'm all alone except for Samantha, who is napping. It's been okay, I guess, but it feels wrong to be all alone right now when so many are gathering already to eat the big meal. Nash is staying here, but he left to go spend time with Carmel. I cleaned the upstairs shower and put the turkey in the oven, then had some chicken nuggets for lunch. Everyone is coming over at 4 (or 5) for the meal, but until then, I think I'm on my own. James took the older 4 kids to his grandparents' house in Victor. We did agree to this plan, but I didn't realize how sad I'd feel the first part of this day. Once again, I wish I could be in two places and see all the people I'm related to. It's year 13 of not eating Thanksgiving with my parents.
On the bright side, it is peaceful and quiet. I already made two pecan pies yesterday and only have to do the turkey, gravy, and dressing. (I'm of the opinion that one should never stuff a turkey and that the dressing should be crispy.) It isn't my kitchen, but it is nice to be able to cook the main course the way I'd like. I suppose I can be particular about things from time to time.
This year has been a tough one, but there are many things I've been grateful for, especially things relating to the timing of the challenges I've been through. They would be too long to list here right now, so I won't, but I feel like things are going pretty well overall even though I have my moments of frustration or despair.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
One Day...
Samantha woke up during the night for the past week, but then she slept all night last night. I'm really hoping it was a growth spurt so I can start sleeping all night again. It makes a huge difference on my mood.
We had movie night without James because he went to play games in Roosevelt.
Saturday, James and the older 3 went to set up chairs for stake conference. After a little more shopping, James went to the leadership session and I went to the adult one for the first half. Samantha needed me after that. She gets kind of fussy in the evenings still, but she is easily consoled with music or food. It just makes it hard for me to ever leave without worrying about her.
We made it though stake conference on Sunday as well without any mishaps! Things are really looking up as far as church attendance goes.
We did FHE with Cherissa and Tayson on Monday, the first time in a few months. I'm really glad we were able to hang out with them.
Tuesday, we went out for Frosties because Joseph passed off a poem at school that he'd been really nervous about.
Wednesday, I took a little break to finish up some sewing once James got home. I went to the temple for initiatories. I still felt really stressed once I got home, but it was better than before. It was just one of those days where Samantha never slept longer than 45 minutes, so it was really hard to get anything done. I am looking forward to having a real schedule again in a few months! I probably say that a lot, but it causes me a ton of anxiety not to be able to predict anything. I am very much a schedule and list-type person. Sometimes I feel pretty accomplished, but many day, it's a struggle to feel like I've accomplished anything at all.
I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week! That means shopping today so I can thaw the turkey in the fridge. I'm excited to see 3 of my siblings. It's been a long time since that many of us were together for Thanksgiving, I think 5 years. I still wish it were possible to live by both my parents and James's, but I suppose it's not the end of the world. For now, it looks like we'll be here for a long time, and I'm okay with that.
We had movie night without James because he went to play games in Roosevelt.
Saturday, James and the older 3 went to set up chairs for stake conference. After a little more shopping, James went to the leadership session and I went to the adult one for the first half. Samantha needed me after that. She gets kind of fussy in the evenings still, but she is easily consoled with music or food. It just makes it hard for me to ever leave without worrying about her.
We made it though stake conference on Sunday as well without any mishaps! Things are really looking up as far as church attendance goes.
We did FHE with Cherissa and Tayson on Monday, the first time in a few months. I'm really glad we were able to hang out with them.
Tuesday, we went out for Frosties because Joseph passed off a poem at school that he'd been really nervous about.
Wednesday, I took a little break to finish up some sewing once James got home. I went to the temple for initiatories. I still felt really stressed once I got home, but it was better than before. It was just one of those days where Samantha never slept longer than 45 minutes, so it was really hard to get anything done. I am looking forward to having a real schedule again in a few months! I probably say that a lot, but it causes me a ton of anxiety not to be able to predict anything. I am very much a schedule and list-type person. Sometimes I feel pretty accomplished, but many day, it's a struggle to feel like I've accomplished anything at all.
I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week! That means shopping today so I can thaw the turkey in the fridge. I'm excited to see 3 of my siblings. It's been a long time since that many of us were together for Thanksgiving, I think 5 years. I still wish it were possible to live by both my parents and James's, but I suppose it's not the end of the world. For now, it looks like we'll be here for a long time, and I'm okay with that.
Thursday, November 8, 2018
A Break
Joseph did Scouting for Food on Saturday. I'm glad he was able to serve, and he said he liked it.
Everyone was healthy and went to church together on Sunday! It was the Sunday I'd hoped for several times in October but that never happened. Samantha slept through most of Sacrament meeting, I fed her, and she needed me again during the break in music time. It worked perfectly. Even music time went better than it did a month ago. I'm still looking forward to 2-hour church, but at least this Sunday wasn't so bad.
For Family Home Evening, we set up an "ofrenda" of my Phenix grandparents and 2 of James's great-grandparents that he knew. It was fun to talk about them and watch Coco as a late Dia de los Muertos celebration.
I took both girls to the doctor for checkups on Tuesday. It was very long, but they are both healthy and growing well. Katie is still my biggest child, percentile-wise, but she is no giant either. We went out for dinner that night, just to McDonald's, because the kids were going a little crazy and it's been a bit cold outside recently. I sure miss summer when they could be outside for hours with no shoes and I didn't have to worry about them.
I escaped for a little while yesterday to do a little Christmas shopping. Mainly, it's because I need a pick-me-up and wrapping presents makes me feel happy. Also, I have a hard time truly relaxing these days, so I made my break away from home productive.
I realized when Lewis was a baby that my feelings this time of year are more anxiety-related than depression-related. First, there's the big health crisis that happens every year. Then, the cold and dark, especially with the time change. Next come the holidays where I wish I could be in two places but simply can't, so no matter what we do for the holidays, I feel horribly guilty that I'm not with the other family members. This year will be no different. I will have to miss going to Grandma and Grandpa's because I want to spend it with my siblings. With their SO's and other relatives, it would be 7 extra people, and that is its own dinner. James and I already have 7 people, so we didn't want to double that for Grandma's house. The plan is for me to host the dinner with the two youngest children while James goes to his grandparents' house with the older three. It's the best plan for making everyone happy, but it's a lot more stress for me now that I have to plan a dinner.
Samantha started waking up again at night, which I knew would happen, but it still stinks. Less than 6 months till my sleep troubles are over! I find that with her (and it started with Lewis), I have a little trouble going back to sleep after the night feeding because I worry she'll wake up again even though she doesn't do that anymore. I also tend to have worse dreams and feel kind of sad when I get up and had interrupted sleep. Oh well. It's not serious, and it will pass. What has helped me in the past during winter is to work on projects, but having a small baby really limits that, and it's frustrating. This too shall pass. I'm glad to be feeling pretty good despite all these challenges.
Everyone was healthy and went to church together on Sunday! It was the Sunday I'd hoped for several times in October but that never happened. Samantha slept through most of Sacrament meeting, I fed her, and she needed me again during the break in music time. It worked perfectly. Even music time went better than it did a month ago. I'm still looking forward to 2-hour church, but at least this Sunday wasn't so bad.
For Family Home Evening, we set up an "ofrenda" of my Phenix grandparents and 2 of James's great-grandparents that he knew. It was fun to talk about them and watch Coco as a late Dia de los Muertos celebration.
I took both girls to the doctor for checkups on Tuesday. It was very long, but they are both healthy and growing well. Katie is still my biggest child, percentile-wise, but she is no giant either. We went out for dinner that night, just to McDonald's, because the kids were going a little crazy and it's been a bit cold outside recently. I sure miss summer when they could be outside for hours with no shoes and I didn't have to worry about them.
I escaped for a little while yesterday to do a little Christmas shopping. Mainly, it's because I need a pick-me-up and wrapping presents makes me feel happy. Also, I have a hard time truly relaxing these days, so I made my break away from home productive.
I realized when Lewis was a baby that my feelings this time of year are more anxiety-related than depression-related. First, there's the big health crisis that happens every year. Then, the cold and dark, especially with the time change. Next come the holidays where I wish I could be in two places but simply can't, so no matter what we do for the holidays, I feel horribly guilty that I'm not with the other family members. This year will be no different. I will have to miss going to Grandma and Grandpa's because I want to spend it with my siblings. With their SO's and other relatives, it would be 7 extra people, and that is its own dinner. James and I already have 7 people, so we didn't want to double that for Grandma's house. The plan is for me to host the dinner with the two youngest children while James goes to his grandparents' house with the older three. It's the best plan for making everyone happy, but it's a lot more stress for me now that I have to plan a dinner.
Samantha started waking up again at night, which I knew would happen, but it still stinks. Less than 6 months till my sleep troubles are over! I find that with her (and it started with Lewis), I have a little trouble going back to sleep after the night feeding because I worry she'll wake up again even though she doesn't do that anymore. I also tend to have worse dreams and feel kind of sad when I get up and had interrupted sleep. Oh well. It's not serious, and it will pass. What has helped me in the past during winter is to work on projects, but having a small baby really limits that, and it's frustrating. This too shall pass. I'm glad to be feeling pretty good despite all these challenges.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
More Sickness, Halloween
Kenny seemed fine on Friday, but I kept him home anyway. He ended up worse over the weekend and had lots of cramping - poor guy. He finally returned to school on Tuesday. Both Kenny and James got blessings on Sunday since Kenny was feeling so terrible and James has had trouble with a hoarse voice for about a month now. Not so good for teaching!
Everyone was feeling okay on Saturday, so we went to the Jensen Pumpkin Festival as we've done for the past 5 years, I think. The kids had a really good time, as always.
Sunday, James stayed home with Kenny and the two youngest since it's hard to take them while I'm in Primary. I could have taken Lewis, but...I was feeling lazy. We have yet to all go to church together and not have some disaster happen. Maybe November will be better!
We did a family home evening about trials, as demonstrated by bread dough. It was pretty fun to let the kids help punch the dough. I don't ever let it rise twice, so it was fun for me too.
Tuesday we had tithing settlement.
Wednesday was Halloween! We went to the ward trunk or treat. James and I did a date at home watching Jurassic Park and eating dino nuggets. Samantha was even happy while I handed out candy as long as I was bouncing her.
I'm taking my measurements once a month. Since delivering Samantha, I have lost 34 pounds and 29 inches! I'm right at the halfway point to meeting my goal. I wish that were true time-wise too. :)
It's still tough to have a little baby who needs to eat often and cries at inopportune times. However, the time is going by so quickly, 2 months already! I feel like the hardest part is definitely over because she isn't fussy very often and goes to bed about the same time every night. Even naps are kind of predictable. That makes my life a lot easier. I do love seeing her sweet smiles and sleeping all night, even if it might not last. I'm still crossing my fingers.
Everyone was feeling okay on Saturday, so we went to the Jensen Pumpkin Festival as we've done for the past 5 years, I think. The kids had a really good time, as always.
Sunday, James stayed home with Kenny and the two youngest since it's hard to take them while I'm in Primary. I could have taken Lewis, but...I was feeling lazy. We have yet to all go to church together and not have some disaster happen. Maybe November will be better!
We did a family home evening about trials, as demonstrated by bread dough. It was pretty fun to let the kids help punch the dough. I don't ever let it rise twice, so it was fun for me too.
Tuesday we had tithing settlement.
Wednesday was Halloween! We went to the ward trunk or treat. James and I did a date at home watching Jurassic Park and eating dino nuggets. Samantha was even happy while I handed out candy as long as I was bouncing her.
I'm taking my measurements once a month. Since delivering Samantha, I have lost 34 pounds and 29 inches! I'm right at the halfway point to meeting my goal. I wish that were true time-wise too. :)
It's still tough to have a little baby who needs to eat often and cries at inopportune times. However, the time is going by so quickly, 2 months already! I feel like the hardest part is definitely over because she isn't fussy very often and goes to bed about the same time every night. Even naps are kind of predictable. That makes my life a lot easier. I do love seeing her sweet smiles and sleeping all night, even if it might not last. I'm still crossing my fingers.
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