A Break

Joseph did Scouting for Food on Saturday. I'm glad he was able to serve, and he said he liked it.

Everyone was healthy and went to church together on Sunday! It was the Sunday I'd hoped for several times in October but that never happened. Samantha slept through most of Sacrament meeting, I fed her, and she needed me again during the break in music time. It worked perfectly. Even music time went better than it did a month ago. I'm still looking forward to 2-hour church, but at least this Sunday wasn't so bad.

For Family Home Evening, we set up an "ofrenda" of my Phenix grandparents and 2 of James's great-grandparents that he knew. It was fun to talk about them and watch Coco as a late Dia de los Muertos celebration.

I took both girls to the doctor for checkups on Tuesday. It was very long, but they are both healthy and growing well. Katie is still my biggest child, percentile-wise, but she is no giant either. We went out for dinner that night, just to McDonald's, because the kids were going a little crazy and it's been a bit cold outside recently. I sure miss summer when they could be outside for hours with no shoes and I didn't have to worry about them.

I escaped for a little while yesterday to do a little Christmas shopping. Mainly, it's because I need a pick-me-up and wrapping presents makes me feel happy. Also, I have a hard time truly relaxing these days, so I made my break away from home productive.

I realized when Lewis was a baby that my feelings this time of year are more anxiety-related than depression-related. First, there's the big health crisis that happens every year. Then, the cold and dark, especially with the time change. Next come the holidays where I wish I could be in two places but simply can't, so no matter what we do for the holidays, I feel horribly guilty that I'm not with the other family members. This year will be no different. I will have to miss going to Grandma and Grandpa's because I want to spend it with my siblings. With their SO's and other relatives, it would be 7 extra people, and that is its own dinner. James and I already have 7 people, so we didn't want to double that for Grandma's house. The plan is for me to host the dinner with the two youngest children while James goes to his grandparents' house with the older three. It's the best plan for making everyone happy, but it's a lot more stress for me now that I have to plan a dinner.

Samantha started waking up again at night, which I knew would happen, but it still stinks. Less than 6 months till my sleep troubles are over! I find that with her (and it started with Lewis), I have a little trouble going back to sleep after the night feeding because I worry she'll wake up again even though she doesn't do that anymore. I also tend to have worse dreams and feel kind of sad when I get up and had interrupted sleep. Oh well. It's not serious, and it will pass. What has helped me in the past during winter is to work on projects, but having a small baby really limits that, and it's frustrating. This too shall pass. I'm glad to be feeling pretty good despite all these challenges.