Heavy Things

I've had a lot of things weighing on my mind since we got back from our trip to Rexburg. I am glad we went because it was a nice break from regular life. I feel like I've gotten hit by a lot of things, many of them heavy, so this post will be a little depressing. Writing it all out helps me feel better. These issues are in no particular order, and I worry about all of them intermittently.

I made an appointment with the general surgeon for next week. I will most likely be able to have surgery on July 9th to get my hernia fixed. (Thanks, Samantha.) Though I'm not particularly scared about it, it's stressful to think about going under the knife again and having 6 weeks of recovery. I also don't know how much it will hurt, but I'm hopeful that it will be minor since my other 3 surgeries were really easy. I have to do it around all of our travel since I'll need help. I won't be able to lift Lewis or Samantha during recovery, which is a big deal. It can't wait until school starts.

Myles and Skyla are planning their sealing for August 8th. I'm really excited about it, but I feel that driving it the best way to make sure we don't lose tons of money or get infected with the Coronavirus. I think everyone knows how much travel stresses me out. Just yesterday, we had to add some oil to the car while we were at 10,000 feet. It's a good thing we had some in the car already. I hate old cars sometimes. Ours has needed some age-related repairs, but I'm still afraid to drive 2,000 miles there and back. Plus, whiny kids.

An old friend I hadn't seen in a while died from cancer. He was only 35. Cancer sucks.

My yoga class has to change venues after June. I've loved the studio where it happens right now. I'm annoyed that the studio would just discontinue classes like that. On top of everything else, it's really frustrating. I probably can't go in July anyway due to recovery, but I'm still worried that it will all end.

I'm struggling with a lot of anxiety still, especially about my appearance. Though I got rid of the scale, I'm noticing that some of my clothes feel a little tighter. Thanks to the stupid virus, I can't get any new ones unless I get lucky and have them fit without trying them on. Ugh. I know this will change eventually, but I really need to try a different style of pants. Weight gain or not, everything digs into my squishy belly unless it's got a stretchy waistband. Wearing uncomfortable stuff is making me feel grouchy.

My contact lenses are starting to bother me, but if I wear glasses, I can't wear sunglasses. I really need to get clipons or something, but I haven't done that yet, so I either have scratchy eyes or squint and get a headache. Another small thing that's making me grouchy. I have an eye appointment next week to hopefully get some answers.

If you made it this far, thanks for bearing with me! I don't know who reads this anymore, but I'm glad for you.