We're leaving for Heber tomorrow to spend a weekend at a cabin with James's family. I think I'm excited about it. Packing always puts me in a bad mood. I wish it didn't take all day to clean, do laundry, and get everything ready, but it does!
I did another toy purge in the boys' room after a particularly horrible evening of trying to get them to pick up their stuff. It felt great! I definitely get rid of more stuff when I'm angry. Cleanup was much easier today, so that made me pretty happy.
My kids all have colds, but I think they'll be okay in a few days. I'm grateful that it doesn't disrupt their sleep too much.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Thursday, March 12, 2015
March
I know it's been 3 weeks or so since I posted last. Hopefully I can remember all the main events of what's been going on.
I've been consumed with family history work since mid-December and spent about 3 hours a day cleaning up my file up to mid-March. Finally, I am done! I have synced my personal file back to the 12th generation with what's online, merged duplicates, attached sources, and requested ordinances. It turns out that we were able to request about 350 ordinances (about 150 different people) that had been overlooked. It's a good feeling, though it will take a long time for my family and me to complete them. Having my own family names is a good motivation to attend the temple more often. I need it, because it's hard to get myself out the door for a few hours sometimes. For now, I'm not working on any more family history. When I do, it will be more sporadic and on cousin lines. I'm feeling a little burned out, but grateful for the work I've been able to do during naptime.
It wasn't all just hard work. I got hooked on watching Doctor Who. Yeah, it took about 5 tries to get hooked, but I did! I started with season 5 of the newer stuff (the 11th doctor). He is definitely my favorite. Once I got sucked into the story, I found it much easier to go back to the lower-budget episodes. :)
I've been trying lots of new recipes, mostly soups and desserts. I used to think healthy desserts were dumb, but since I'm definitely in danger of becoming diabetic (mom and grandma both are/were), I'm trying to be more careful about my sugar intake (with varied success depending on my mood). So far, I've found a really healthy brownie and PB cookie dough recipe, and I'm going to try a healthy version of chocolate chip cookies. The healthy versions taste a lot better than I thought they would. I haven't blogged any new recipes, but I will once I make my way through my stack of "to try" recipes and figure out my absolute favorites.
James's foot has been hurting. What was thought to be cellulitis is actually gout. He's on steroids and enjoying making jokes about it. (Like, "Hey, I should work out tonight, because I'll be on steroids and get big muscles!")
I got contacts again. Hurray!
It snowed 6 inches last week, but it's all melted already. I've been optimistically wearing shorts/capris.
Katie's molars all came in, making her a much happier baby. She's not walking yet, which makes her the latest walker of my kids.
I've been thinking/praying about Joseph's schooling, and I finally received a solid answer. He is going to attend public school. That could change in the future, but for now, he's going! That takes a lot of worry off my mind. I just wasn't sure for the longest time. I've never felt "ready" to send him to school until now. I know I'll live through it even though I'll be home with the two who fight all the time.
Kenny is pretty much the same. We will start potty training when he turns 3, which is just around the corner.
Everything is going well for us. Aside from these events, life has been pretty routine. Coming up soon, we'll have two weddings, three trips altogether, and two birthdays. Also, there's Pi Day and St. Patty's. Who doesn't love a good holiday? Hopefully I'll get some pictures too.
I've been consumed with family history work since mid-December and spent about 3 hours a day cleaning up my file up to mid-March. Finally, I am done! I have synced my personal file back to the 12th generation with what's online, merged duplicates, attached sources, and requested ordinances. It turns out that we were able to request about 350 ordinances (about 150 different people) that had been overlooked. It's a good feeling, though it will take a long time for my family and me to complete them. Having my own family names is a good motivation to attend the temple more often. I need it, because it's hard to get myself out the door for a few hours sometimes. For now, I'm not working on any more family history. When I do, it will be more sporadic and on cousin lines. I'm feeling a little burned out, but grateful for the work I've been able to do during naptime.
It wasn't all just hard work. I got hooked on watching Doctor Who. Yeah, it took about 5 tries to get hooked, but I did! I started with season 5 of the newer stuff (the 11th doctor). He is definitely my favorite. Once I got sucked into the story, I found it much easier to go back to the lower-budget episodes. :)
I've been trying lots of new recipes, mostly soups and desserts. I used to think healthy desserts were dumb, but since I'm definitely in danger of becoming diabetic (mom and grandma both are/were), I'm trying to be more careful about my sugar intake (with varied success depending on my mood). So far, I've found a really healthy brownie and PB cookie dough recipe, and I'm going to try a healthy version of chocolate chip cookies. The healthy versions taste a lot better than I thought they would. I haven't blogged any new recipes, but I will once I make my way through my stack of "to try" recipes and figure out my absolute favorites.
James's foot has been hurting. What was thought to be cellulitis is actually gout. He's on steroids and enjoying making jokes about it. (Like, "Hey, I should work out tonight, because I'll be on steroids and get big muscles!")
I got contacts again. Hurray!
It snowed 6 inches last week, but it's all melted already. I've been optimistically wearing shorts/capris.
Katie's molars all came in, making her a much happier baby. She's not walking yet, which makes her the latest walker of my kids.
I've been thinking/praying about Joseph's schooling, and I finally received a solid answer. He is going to attend public school. That could change in the future, but for now, he's going! That takes a lot of worry off my mind. I just wasn't sure for the longest time. I've never felt "ready" to send him to school until now. I know I'll live through it even though I'll be home with the two who fight all the time.
Kenny is pretty much the same. We will start potty training when he turns 3, which is just around the corner.
Everything is going well for us. Aside from these events, life has been pretty routine. Coming up soon, we'll have two weddings, three trips altogether, and two birthdays. Also, there's Pi Day and St. Patty's. Who doesn't love a good holiday? Hopefully I'll get some pictures too.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Peace
It's been a good two weeks. I think that's how long it's been since I wrote last. The kids are all well except for Katie's lower molars coming in. She has her days where she's grumpy and miserable, but then she's fine. They should be in within a week, I hope. She has a constantly runny nose because of it.
James's sister Anna came to visit from SLC. (She attends LDSBC). We had a good time just hanging out and going to the Valentine's party with the ward. I made a huge mistake by eating the food, though. Everything had lots of cheese in it, so I felt absolutely awful and spent a lot of time in the bathroom during the weekend. Anna brought my favorite ice cream, which I also ate, so that didn't help. Yes, world, I am lactose intolerant, and it's never going away! Haha. I'm actually not sad about it. It was a little sad at first, but giving up dairy products helped me expand my cooking horizons to a lot of healthier dishes. It's been over a year now since I quit eating it, minus the occasional slip-up or social occasion.
As much as I love healthy food, I don't love exercising. I've never gotten the "high" that people describe despite all my efforts to use a variety of routines/methods/whatever. I do feel "good" afterward, but not good enough to crave exercise. Oh well. I'll never be a star athlete.
I have finally realized this year that my efforts to take care of myself are enough. Though I wish I could lose 10 lbs., I have maintained this same weight for a long time now (9 months) without any real effort. It's the exact size I was after having Kenny, and that's okay. Things aren't the same as they used to be, and I'm absolutely positive that my hormones have shifted somewhat since I had kids. I have no real reason to complain, because my clothes still fit well, and losing weight wouldn't change my clothing size. I've decided to stop fretting about it and be at peace. I don't have to be crazy perfect because I am feeling good about myself and following all the counsel of the Word of Wisdom. God will take care of the rest.
It can be hard to find peace in the world, but I know I can always find it in the Gospel. I'm grateful for that every day.
James's sister Anna came to visit from SLC. (She attends LDSBC). We had a good time just hanging out and going to the Valentine's party with the ward. I made a huge mistake by eating the food, though. Everything had lots of cheese in it, so I felt absolutely awful and spent a lot of time in the bathroom during the weekend. Anna brought my favorite ice cream, which I also ate, so that didn't help. Yes, world, I am lactose intolerant, and it's never going away! Haha. I'm actually not sad about it. It was a little sad at first, but giving up dairy products helped me expand my cooking horizons to a lot of healthier dishes. It's been over a year now since I quit eating it, minus the occasional slip-up or social occasion.
As much as I love healthy food, I don't love exercising. I've never gotten the "high" that people describe despite all my efforts to use a variety of routines/methods/whatever. I do feel "good" afterward, but not good enough to crave exercise. Oh well. I'll never be a star athlete.
I have finally realized this year that my efforts to take care of myself are enough. Though I wish I could lose 10 lbs., I have maintained this same weight for a long time now (9 months) without any real effort. It's the exact size I was after having Kenny, and that's okay. Things aren't the same as they used to be, and I'm absolutely positive that my hormones have shifted somewhat since I had kids. I have no real reason to complain, because my clothes still fit well, and losing weight wouldn't change my clothing size. I've decided to stop fretting about it and be at peace. I don't have to be crazy perfect because I am feeling good about myself and following all the counsel of the Word of Wisdom. God will take care of the rest.
It can be hard to find peace in the world, but I know I can always find it in the Gospel. I'm grateful for that every day.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Weakness
I've been thinking a lot about Ether 12:27 this week. I used to think that my character flaws, if I had enough faith and tried hard to change, would magically disappear or become easy to handle. It's been almost 27 years now, and I'm not so sure about that any more.
Ether declares that God gives us "weakness" rather than "weaknesses" as it is often interpreted. Weakness is simply an overall state of being weak, not meaning any particular character flaw or undesirable trait. Am I weak? Certainly. I don't feel that there is any character trait that is a strength to me at all times. Some of my other traits seem like flaws most of the time when in reality they could be used as strengths if I didn't fight against them so much to try to be like someone else.
How I view my character traits is my own choice. The very words I use to describe my character traits is also a choice that reflects how I feel about them. For too long, I have waited for other people to validate me. Not even God can do that if I'm not willing to have faith in myself.
I choose to cast aside all those negative thoughts that for years have brought me down. I have my days where I feel tempted to degrade myself for just being me. Trying to work against my nature only makes me unhappy. I don't mean that I should do whatever I want out of selfishness. I can work with my perceived weaknesses in a way that makes them my strengths. Only God would know how to do such a thing, because I lack understanding of how to change myself for the better unless I seek guidance from Him.
My view of myself is already changing. I no longer look in the mirror every day and see a woman who should lose weight, wear a smaller size, wear makeup since everyone else does, do my hair differently, paint my nails, stop being so impatient, be more outspoken, stop caring about having a clean house since it never stays that way...
I see a happy person with growing confidence. I'm working with those things I haven't liked in the past to become a better person. My impatience tells me I'll never get there, but then I remember that happiness is right now, not some future point when I've magically become perfect. Thank goodness for that.
Ether declares that God gives us "weakness" rather than "weaknesses" as it is often interpreted. Weakness is simply an overall state of being weak, not meaning any particular character flaw or undesirable trait. Am I weak? Certainly. I don't feel that there is any character trait that is a strength to me at all times. Some of my other traits seem like flaws most of the time when in reality they could be used as strengths if I didn't fight against them so much to try to be like someone else.
How I view my character traits is my own choice. The very words I use to describe my character traits is also a choice that reflects how I feel about them. For too long, I have waited for other people to validate me. Not even God can do that if I'm not willing to have faith in myself.
I choose to cast aside all those negative thoughts that for years have brought me down. I have my days where I feel tempted to degrade myself for just being me. Trying to work against my nature only makes me unhappy. I don't mean that I should do whatever I want out of selfishness. I can work with my perceived weaknesses in a way that makes them my strengths. Only God would know how to do such a thing, because I lack understanding of how to change myself for the better unless I seek guidance from Him.
My view of myself is already changing. I no longer look in the mirror every day and see a woman who should lose weight, wear a smaller size, wear makeup since everyone else does, do my hair differently, paint my nails, stop being so impatient, be more outspoken, stop caring about having a clean house since it never stays that way...
I see a happy person with growing confidence. I'm working with those things I haven't liked in the past to become a better person. My impatience tells me I'll never get there, but then I remember that happiness is right now, not some future point when I've magically become perfect. Thank goodness for that.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
January
Life as we know it is good. I don't have much to update about, because it's all pretty routine.
I have several hobbies that I really enjoy, but I never do them all at once. Right now, my main focus has been on my family history. I'm at a good point for working on it because I have 2 kids who nap for 3 hours in the afternoon and 1 who entertains himself. Since I'm a self-taught genealogist, I never paid much attention to sources before now. (Don't sue me! I was 12.) Now, I'm repenting and adding all the sources I can find (or at least the easy, suggested ones from FamilySearch). So far, I've added sources for the first 9 generations of my family tree, as well as merged duplicates, synced them to my Legacy file, and helped my family request the ordinances that need to be done. That took a huge number of hours, probably 50 total, so I watched a documentary (98 episodes!) about the Joseph Smith Papers Project as I was working.
I felt inspired to study more about Joseph Smith because of some comments from a friend who left the Church. I'm currently reading a book called Rough Stone Rolling, which is a historical view (rather than Church-endorsed, condensed view) of his life. It's absolutely fascinating. I have no doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. There are many things about his life I didn't know. He certainly wasn't a perfect man, not even close, but God worked with that "rough stone" to smooth his edges and polish him into a prophet. The funny thing is that she (now an ex-Mormon) recommended this book. It will not change anyone's view of Joseph as a prophet. As a person, maybe, if you thought he was perfect.
I'm come to realize again and again that one of the most important components of believing is wanting to. If I didn't want to believe something, I'd do everything in my power to tear it down so I felt justified in not believing it. It's exactly what she did to the Church and all religion. I see it happening to another one of my friends, and it breaks my heart.
A trip to the temple helped me clear my mind of these worries. I'm grateful to have one so close so I can do the ordinances I keep finding for my ancestors! I feel a special connection to them as I pore over their names.
Life is good. Others may use their agency to abandon all that is good, but I will never!
I have several hobbies that I really enjoy, but I never do them all at once. Right now, my main focus has been on my family history. I'm at a good point for working on it because I have 2 kids who nap for 3 hours in the afternoon and 1 who entertains himself. Since I'm a self-taught genealogist, I never paid much attention to sources before now. (Don't sue me! I was 12.) Now, I'm repenting and adding all the sources I can find (or at least the easy, suggested ones from FamilySearch). So far, I've added sources for the first 9 generations of my family tree, as well as merged duplicates, synced them to my Legacy file, and helped my family request the ordinances that need to be done. That took a huge number of hours, probably 50 total, so I watched a documentary (98 episodes!) about the Joseph Smith Papers Project as I was working.
I felt inspired to study more about Joseph Smith because of some comments from a friend who left the Church. I'm currently reading a book called Rough Stone Rolling, which is a historical view (rather than Church-endorsed, condensed view) of his life. It's absolutely fascinating. I have no doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. There are many things about his life I didn't know. He certainly wasn't a perfect man, not even close, but God worked with that "rough stone" to smooth his edges and polish him into a prophet. The funny thing is that she (now an ex-Mormon) recommended this book. It will not change anyone's view of Joseph as a prophet. As a person, maybe, if you thought he was perfect.
I'm come to realize again and again that one of the most important components of believing is wanting to. If I didn't want to believe something, I'd do everything in my power to tear it down so I felt justified in not believing it. It's exactly what she did to the Church and all religion. I see it happening to another one of my friends, and it breaks my heart.
A trip to the temple helped me clear my mind of these worries. I'm grateful to have one so close so I can do the ordinances I keep finding for my ancestors! I feel a special connection to them as I pore over their names.
Life is good. Others may use their agency to abandon all that is good, but I will never!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
A New Year
I am happy to say that I met my resolutions last year, so I've made some brand new ones. As hard as fall is, this part of winter is made more tolerable by the days getting longer and the stress of Christmas over. I love making goals for the new year.
I have three goals this year.
1. Never leave a kind word unspoken. This is a tough one because I worry too much about what people will think, even when I'm saying something kind and sincere. I have a tendency to brush off compliments because I don't feel I deserve them, which brings me to my second goal.
2. Be kind to myself. This includes eating well, not criticizing myself so much, and taking time to do things for myself to recharge.
3. Read to my kids. Even if it's only 5 minutes, I know it makes a difference.
A really nasty bug had both Kenny and Katie throwing up and dirtying lots of diapers all week (ever since getting back from the trip). I'm crossing my fingers that it's over. My kids have never been sick with anything like that for so long. Here's to a new week with a lot less laundry!
I have three goals this year.
1. Never leave a kind word unspoken. This is a tough one because I worry too much about what people will think, even when I'm saying something kind and sincere. I have a tendency to brush off compliments because I don't feel I deserve them, which brings me to my second goal.
2. Be kind to myself. This includes eating well, not criticizing myself so much, and taking time to do things for myself to recharge.
3. Read to my kids. Even if it's only 5 minutes, I know it makes a difference.
A really nasty bug had both Kenny and Katie throwing up and dirtying lots of diapers all week (ever since getting back from the trip). I'm crossing my fingers that it's over. My kids have never been sick with anything like that for so long. Here's to a new week with a lot less laundry!
Friday, January 2, 2015
Christmas Break
We're cursed, I think.
Katie has been completely healthy all year except for when we travel to Rexburg. In June, she got a bad ear infection. In November, it was croup. This past trip, throwing up. It's not anything horrible, but it's still really frustrating.
Last January, we had car trouble and a broken pipe. This trip, we returned to find the water in the bathtub running (which was turned off when we left), the cat shut in our room (which was open when we left) - so things were scratched up, and a dishwasher not working properly.
The trip was good but too long for me. I don't like traveling very much. It's stressful, and I come home feeling gross from indulging in junk food too much over the holidays. Still, we had a good time.
Highlights (the good ones):
Christmas morning with the Heads (and Sam and Jesse)
seeing the Head and Lee grandparents
kids sledding with Rocky pulling
caroling
a dinner/movie date with James
New Year's games and hors d'oeuvres
visiting the big D.I. and finding American Girl dolls
It's great to be home, but the stress of the unpacking/packing up Christmas/fixing the stupid dishwasher/having to go buy food has really not made today very pleasant. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I hope so!
Katie has been completely healthy all year except for when we travel to Rexburg. In June, she got a bad ear infection. In November, it was croup. This past trip, throwing up. It's not anything horrible, but it's still really frustrating.
Last January, we had car trouble and a broken pipe. This trip, we returned to find the water in the bathtub running (which was turned off when we left), the cat shut in our room (which was open when we left) - so things were scratched up, and a dishwasher not working properly.
The trip was good but too long for me. I don't like traveling very much. It's stressful, and I come home feeling gross from indulging in junk food too much over the holidays. Still, we had a good time.
Highlights (the good ones):
Christmas morning with the Heads (and Sam and Jesse)
seeing the Head and Lee grandparents
kids sledding with Rocky pulling
caroling
a dinner/movie date with James
New Year's games and hors d'oeuvres
visiting the big D.I. and finding American Girl dolls
It's great to be home, but the stress of the unpacking/packing up Christmas/fixing the stupid dishwasher/having to go buy food has really not made today very pleasant. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I hope so!
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