Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Swallow Your Pride

There are two sides to every sin. In Pres. Benson's talk, he references both the pride of "looking down" and the pride of those "looking up". I've wondered how the same sin can manifest itself in two completely different ways. Since all of our sins are caused by pride, what causes pride in the first place?

It comes back to our quest to subdue the natural man as we become saints. We have been commanded to keep the appetites and passions of the natural man in check, not to get rid of them or be controlled by them. When a person fails in this endeavor, he generally does one of two things.

1. Rebellion. Rebellion against God, according to Pres. Clark (BYU-I president), happens when a person follows neither the spirit nor the letter of God's laws. This person has a full knowledge of these laws but refuses to obey them. He doesn't want to. He does what he wants and lets appetite and passion control him. He is the man that "looks down", because he takes from others in order to puff himself up. Inside, he still feels empty. We look down on others to try to make ourselves feel better, but it doesn't work. In terms of physical nourishment, this is the man who eats to his heart's content all of the things that strike his fancy. He looks well-nourished (or even more than that), but he fails to supply his physical body with the things that it really needs.

2. Hypocrisy. Pres. Clark's talk defines a hypocrite as a person who obeys the letter of God's law but not the spirit. We don't want to be in the "rebellious" category, so we try a new tactic: belittling and comparing ourselves to others, because "they are much better people than we are." I've definitely been guilty of this, especially when I see others with their "lands and gold" and envy them for what they have. I also envy those who are further along in their talents, totally discounting what I've accomplished (because I'm not as good as "so and so"). These comparisons are prideful, because I've made the assumption that I deserve the same as what those people have. That's called entitlement, which is another sin in itself.

What does this accomplish? Instead of taking away from others to puff myself up, all I've done is to pretend that I'm taking away from myself to give to others. But I haven't done a thing for anyone else. All of these comparisons are still for my own self interest.

In terms of physical nourishment, these are the people on fad diets. They carefully control portions and absolutely hate anyone that can eat real food. They deny themselves nourishment in the name of good health and may look healthy, but they're never satisfied. They're always hungry for something that they feel they can't have and secretly hope that the people eating real food will somehow die young from heart disease.

Hypocrisy is a hard thing to spot. People on fad diets don't know that they don't work.

If pride is an appetite, just like hunger or thirst, then it's a necessary part of our lives. Pride results from a need to feel validated as a human being, just like malnourishment results from eating not enough of the right foods. We need something to feel satisfied so that we don't get too prideful -- on either end of the spectrum.

The only way to nourish this need is through truly giving to others in service. We've got a great antidote for pride right at home: our families. Where is there a better place to feel loved? I can't think of one. As the world  gets more individualistic, the amount of pride will skyrocket.

Serving others reminds us that our gifts and talents are useful. Without use, they wither away and die. There is no joy in having a gift that only blesses oneself. There is also no greater joy than seeing how our God-given talents can bless others.

Am I guilty of pride? Sure I am. But I'm working to create a nourishing, nurturing environment at home where no one will need pride in order to feel of worth.

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