Primary, Feeling Grinchy

We had our Temple and Priesthood Prep meeting on Sunday during class time. Though I had a nightmare that everything would go wrong, it actually went perfectly. I did a Kahoot and talked a little about the temple and family history, then my part was done. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. My secretary Kaila made temple-shaped cookies, and they were both beautiful and delicious. We only had 25 minutes, but we pulled it off. It was a huge relief.

I held a presidency meeting last night, and I felt even better about this calling. We put together presidency binders and discussed some important things. I'd gotten bored last week and put together all the other binders (teachers, nursery, and activities) already, but I showed them the progress so far. We have to wait till the 1st to finish everything since classes don't shift until then, but everything is mostly done. I feel like I know what I'm doing now. My presidency is awesome because they are always bringing great ideas and willing to do everything I ask. We definitely have different strengths that complement one another. We all get along as well. I feel really blessed.

Though I'm feeling pretty awesome about Primary, I've been struggling with winter and Christmas this week. I felt some actual anxiety on Monday over something stupid (the heater, which just needed a new filter when it had an error code, but I assumed the worst.) It took me a little while to really feel better, but it was a matter of hours, not days. What helped was reading over my old journal, exercising with Katie at the school, and then cleaning the church. That sounds strange, but it was really good to vacuum for 45 minutes. It's mindless and comforting at the same time.

It's been such a crummy December, weather-wise. Rather than our normal occasional snow, we've gotten a whole bunch of snow followed by subzero temps for the past week and a half. Naturally, Rexburg won't be any better, and it looks like it'll be cloudy the whole time. I just really hate winter right now. It hurts my face to go outside, and I'm worried at how cold it'll be in January if it's already this cold right now. The last few packages came, so at least I'm not worried about that anymore. I'm just ready for Christmas to be over. If you love Christmas, stop reading now.

Why Christmas is the Worst Holiday (Or At Least Not the Best)

1. The weather is often terrible (though more so in Rexburg.) At best, it's a sunny day with beautiful, glittering snow. Often, it's frigid, cloudy, and windy, sometimes too cold for the kids to play outside.

2. I prefer being at home, but I'm never at home on Christmas unless there's a pandemic.

3. Everyone expects me to be happy about it, but I think it's just okay, so I feel guilty for not liking it more.

4. I get tired of Christmas music before Christmas starts, and that's even with waiting till December 1st to listen to it.

5. Buying presents is stressful. In person, there are way too many people. Online, I get stressed about waiting for everything to show up on time, even when I shop super early. I also feel guilty when people get me nicer stuff than what I can afford in return.

6. I can't spend Christmas with both my family and in-laws, so I end up feeling depressed no matter what.

7. I hate the pile of trash and presents that clutter the living room after everyone opens presents. And it sits there for what feels like eons.

8. It's tiring. I never get a good night of sleep when I'm not at home.

9. Someone in my house is sick at any given time. Or, we bring home a new, crappy illness after visiting family.

10. It starts way too early. I HATE seeing Christmas stuff in the store in September.

11. I'm not allowed to complain. The few times I have, I was accused of "not caring about families who have to shop early to afford it" or "not caring about farmers because they really need the snow so they can water their crops next year." I feel like Christmas gets shoved in my face for months at a time, and I don't like that at all.

I guess what it comes down to is this: as an introvert who grew up in the South and doesn't like shopping, large crowds, or clutter, it's everything that I am not. I'm also a mom who wants healthy, happy kids and that feels like an impossible thing to pull off this time of year. I've done everything I can to simplify this season and make it more meaningful, but it's never going to be my favorite.

I suppose I should stop complaining and go get ready for our trip tomorrow. :)

Bring on January! It's one month closer to summer and I get to declutter the whole house. I can't wait!