Oh, Emotional Me

I feel like this week (especially weekend) has been way too emotional for me. It's not that I don't have weeks like this, it's that I don't love the whole roller coaster feeling. Hopefully this won't seem like a long, rambling post and will make sense. I just have to write it all down.

My mom and sister left to go home Saturday. That was sad, because I won't see them again for a few months. Luckily, it won't be 8 months this time, only 3.

I feel like I have 2 dilemmas right now.

1. Sugar. Of course I started eating it again yesterday, but I had no idea how it would make me feel. Basically, I got a headache that wouldn't leave, even with drugs. Lent was a really good experience, so good, in fact, that I really don't want to eat treats again. It felt so good not to eat them (despite some cravings for chocolate and ice cream, and a little peer pressure). Plus, I lost weight and inches. I feel like I will always dread eating something sugary, so maybe I just won't do it. The dessert was good, but not as good as I remembered. Chocolate is still good, however, so maybe I will just eat that sparingly...

2. Weaning the baby. My original plan was to wait until Joseph was a year old. Lately, he's just seemed ready to go to a bottle. It was a busy week when Mom and Mara were here, so it was pretty easy to start the process. They always say not to wean cold turkey, and I can see why. It's depressing, even when it's done gradually. Joseph is now drinking 2 bottles and nursing 3 times a day. Physically, it's been nice, because I'm already less thirsty than I was. The emotional impact is much harder. I feel like Joseph is deserting me for the comfort of a mama cow. That sounds pretty silly, but it's true. I'm not just switching his food source; I'm ending an important relationship that I've had with him these last almost 11 months. I just can't believe how fast he's grown up. He's such a little doll.

In a few weeks, I'll be playing the piano in Primary. Needless to say, that is a little freaky. I'm as nervous as can be, but at least I know that Junior Primary will be very forgiving. They probably won't even notice when I mess up. I have to tell myself that all I can do is my very best...and pray!

The nicest emotion I've had this week was definitely in my Primary class yesterday. It's too bad James was in the hall with Joseph, because I had a wonderful, spiritual lesson with my 8-year-olds. As I shared my testimony of Easter with those boys, they stopped squirming and quietly listened. It's so wonderful that these children can already recognize the Spirit. Actually, one of them hasn't even been baptized yet. It's the best Primary class I've ever had. It really touches me how well the children in the Church already know the Gospel.

I do love Easter, but this was a little bit of a tough weekend. I'm just not used to being so emotional about so many things. (Well, at least not since I was pregnant!)

The Savior lives, and I know that I too will live again. I'm so grateful for the tender mercies that I receive every day.