Sickness

I just want to say that I HATE BEING SICK! Taking care of a baby when you don't feel quite right is hard! There are no breaks unless the baby takes a nap, and that is no guarantee for Joseph at this age. I am so glad that James will be home later this evening to help out.

I realize more and more why children need two parents. I might be the only one to feed Joseph, but James does SO much to help out. Sometimes I'm just too worn out to play with Joseph anymore, but James is always willing to make him laugh. It's the sweetest sound in the world. James is so good at being the goofy daddy. I don't know how single parents do it. There are days that I feel that I'm about to go nuts...and I only have one kid. It's such a sacrifice of time and energy. Joseph has been going through another growth spurt, and it's tough. Combined with being sick, my energy is completely sapped--not to complain, though. I enjoy good health and have a very healthy, cute baby. Days like this make me so grateful to have overall good health.

I think that hardest part of being sick (for me) is the effect on my mood. It's been a stressful few days because of lots of changes that will be coming up. James and I have both received impressions to move in with his family. The apartment upstairs isn't even done yet! The more I think about it, the more sad I am to be leaving this apartment and moving into a smaller one. Yet, we moved a year ago from our first apartment, and everything worked out just fine. There are so many things I'll miss: having 2 bedrooms, a dishwasher, a great ward, and awesome friends so close by. Argh! It's just so frustrating sometimes to get an impression like that. It makes perfect sense to move, but it's not what I want. Not at all. I guess you could say that it hurts my pride, because I said I'd never live with my parents (or husband's parents) unless I really had to. This is one of those moments where I really need to work on accepting the will of the Lord and learning how to want what He wants for me. It's going to take some time, so I'm really glad that this impression came early and not in December. The Lord knows me better than I know myself, and He knew I'd need some time to come to terms with it. *Sigh*

There must be a reason that I heard Pres. Clark's talk about the poison of entitlement twice this past week. I am certainly "entitled" to happiness as anyone else, but that doesn't mean that I won't have to work for it! Happiness is always found in doing the right thing, whether it makes sense or not.