Impressions on Agency

This weekend was definitely an accomplishment for me. I stayed awake for all 8 hours of Conference! I didn't even feel sleepy! This was with no help from Joseph, who is still apparently going through a growth spurt. He keeps waking up every 3 hours at night. Luckily, he's only awake for 15 minutes at a time before going back to bed. It's much better than when he took 40 minutes to eat as a newbie!

Anyway, Conference always seems to have some kind of theme to it, or at least something that stands out to me more than anything else. The two themes I noticed this time were faith and agency. I thought it was interesting that the one talk (they're all jumbled now) talked about the friend who didn't have a good understanding of agency. It's such a vital part of the Plan of Salvation. Those who don't understand agency tend to abuse it, and that's definitely the reason that the world is in its current condition. People still want to believe that they are free to choose their actions AND consequences, hence many of the horrible things that are going on. They also think they can get away with their poor choices "as long as it's not hurting anyone else."

I think one of the biggest problems in anyone's life is the way we react to situations. Many times when I don't get enough sleep, I wake up almost wanting to be grouchy. People should realize that I need 9 hours, not 7! I should get breakfast in bed, a nap, and plenty of sympathy! Of course this attitude leaves me feeling horrible by the time James leaves for school. What right do I have to behave this way? None! It's the mere dread of being tired throughout the day that "makes" me feel this way, not that my morning is inherently bad.

The past few days, I tried changing how I felt when I woke up (for the fourth and final time). It's been surprisingly easy to start the day in a good mood and to keep it that way. It's not anyone's fault if I've been grumpy in the past. Nope, only mine. I've come to realize that being happy is worth so much more than sending poor, innocent James off to school feeling like he did something wrong when he didn't. I will always be jealous when I see him sleeping peacefully when I get up in the middle of the night, but that's my job! I choose from this day forth to be a morning person. It's probably going to take a lifetime to perfect, but I know that the world will be a better place when I choose to see it that way.

I am ever grateful for the gift of agency and that the Lord has given me commandments that help me keep using this gift to its fullest. (It's the gift that keeps on giving, right?)